Songs

lyrics matter more and more to me. love songs are starting to touch me and i appreciate lyricists more and more. a good song needs a good melody more. seems like there is a lot of gd music that is exposed to me.

had a really fun trip to sec sch friend's house and our form teacher's house too. form teacher had a baby boy, very cherubic unfortunately, he got a bit too much of his father's genes. hahah. kiddding. might be a very handsome boy when he grews up. and we had to queue for toilets coz he invited like 4 batchs of 4E1s.

friend's house is like a testimonial on why we should all strive to make big bucks. then u can have a library, a mounting billboard of the Beijing Olypics 2008 poster, gym, tea house. table tennis, karoake system, plasma tvs in 2 wings of ur house. AND u NEVER need to queue for toilets coz there is too many to go around.

his mother is reallllllllly into decorations. even his toilet has a spiderman hanging on the window pane. very cool lor. and his house is very nicely decorated. we were cam whoring in his house. hahah.


i dont like ppl askin me can we be friends? it is so... unneeded. unneccesary. i just find it irritating.

my only toy.

say HI to ...my favourite toy at work. its a premium that we kopped from the supplier. kekekekek. cute right, i added the eyelashes. then my supervisor drew clothes onto her 1. then AM more subtle. drew specs or something. forgot le. p.s she is a radio, in case u r wondering.

working is so tiring. made a mistake so i am clearing up my stupid mistake, which makes things more tiring. wish i am a energizer bunnny. then i wont be so tired. wish i feed on battery. heck, isnt better if i am just a robot??????????

pig's yr

we all need encouragement constantly. i need motivation more than encouragement for me to make it through IPP. my current task is to stick about 2000 activation codes onto CD-roms. something that need to be done but no1 wants to do if possible.

whats the motivation for me in this task? to be as fast as i can? to see how robotic can i will my fingers to be? to see how it feels to pretend to be a machine? as i sat there, trying to paste those stickers as fast as i can, my features settled into something expressionless N black, in this case. so black that even my supervisor noticed.

in the end, i lucked out since she and a couple of temps helped me finish about 500 pcs tho they had no obligation to help me.

i remenber some1 sayin job satisfaction is secondary coz she just wan to earn money. i cant live life this way. i want job satisfaction as much as i need the salary. otherwise i know i will flood the office with my misery...

i was annoyed

hi all, every1 knows i have weight issue even tho i try not to bother myself about it unless some1 bother me abt it. so u can say some1 just stomped on my fragile self -esteem and self image.

first the new sales colleague said i look rounder. then she said if any1 cant finish anything u can just pass it to eve. then she asked if i got a bf. i said no, coz i am too fat to have 1. a blatant dig at her previous comments. but my sarca was lost on her. SO LOST on her skinny brain inside her skinny skull.

but NVM, thats beside the point. she hurriedly proceeded to do a self perceived good deed. she went on to advise me not to tell my AM that she doesnt have a bf coz she is 2 overweight to have 1. she though she had prevented a great disaster from happening.

EXCUSE ME!!! do u sincerely believe that i think i am single coz i am too fat to have a BF?! that i would be so DUMB to just go up to my AM and say " hey u know what ? SKINNY_thou made me realize something. we r single coz we r too fat to have bf!"

OMG, u totally underestimate eveything abt me. besides, my AM is prettier than skinny-thou by virtue she got curves and carry herself well. N she got more intelligence in her one quater of her pinkie than ur entire brain.

how clueless can some1 get? she totally rubbed me the wrong way. she insulted me. insulted my intelligence. insulted my EQ. insulted my relationship with my AM. OMG. i really had to control to stop myself from asking

ARE YOU STUPID OR WHAT ???
ARE YOU STUPID OR WHAT ???

but anyway, kept my cool despite i was so annoyed! i really felt incredulous at her response. my eyes actually widened, my jaw slacked and i was momentarily stunned by the knowledge that she THINK she is doing me a HUGE favour on how to behave myself. BUT i proceeded to laugh it off... and just carry on eating what i want. =) office life made me fatter. but i got no mood to exercise since i dun even have enough sleep. life is too short to deny myself from what i want and like. especially ppl ard me has been going to hospital in sudden notice.


tagged along with supervisor to accounts department. to see Jenny, a mature lady, for her claims. she looked at me and just said, I would marry a rich man! Of course i asked why. and the ans is, coz i am pretty enough to marry 1. HILARIOUS LOR. me in my specs and nude makeup face . kekeke. but it was music to my ears. i cant believe ppl can take a look at me n be able to guess that i wanna marry a rich man. kekekeke.

nightmares

my last blog post didnt appear!!!!!!!!

WHY?????

heaven is stoppin me from eh... commenting abt MCIS. not as if my comments were big deal or what. other ppl's blog post can appear. so y cant mine?

i am looking forward to the end of IPP. i WANT TO NOT WAKE UP SO DAMM EARLY.but i wonder if i would cry on my last day there or not. it wouldnt be so bad if every1 just carry on as if it is just another ordinary day.

i hardly cried when i was in early teens. i just wasnt a cry baby. pain also wont cry. scared also wont cry. sad also wont cry. disappointed also wont cry.

now ... guess when a girl matures, her emotions becomes more tangible n sensitive. maybe it is just becoz i am startin to think too much due to old age. (I can cry at movies now! ) But tears are good for destressing. hee hee.

some1 from my secondary sch days suddenly shows up again. amazingly, nothing has changed. OMG. i still need to find excuses to keep my distance. -.-!!! i am like, cringing inside and yet have to appear that i am... fine with him and his huh, invitations. realllllllly sian 1/2.

in MC...

supper(2)

after ty showed me some stuff on Photoshop, went for supper at Maxwell food centre. coutesy of Joseph. could have taken pictures. but he brought a along a 3.2 mp digicam with no memory stick. effectively, he brought no camera. and my phone died on me.

woodlands's like, really uber ulu. HAHAHAH. no1 knows which road leads to wdl. lucky Sg road signs r plenty and one of them leads to wdl. lucky he can claim petrol.

there he shared some crushee-troubles stories. one lucky dude whom some pretty gal had fallen for. the pretty gal had even taken the first move only to be rejected by him! but still, she doesnt give up. still continue to do things for him. perhaps hoping to move him, to touch his heart and melt his guard. eh... i duno lah. anyhow say one. hahahaha. but this girl is really admirable. brave, courageous and determined. qualities that i reallllllly admire for i would never had such guts when it comes to a boy.

but too bad. she still faced such cruelty in the end.


why is it that i can remenber wat u did and forgotten what i had done?

our dpt went to shop n save together last fri. hahaha. i felt as though i was out with my parents... that i could take whatever i want and AM will pay for it. hahah. no la. i restrained.i controlled. i succeeded in behaving properly.

i changed place. AM sometimes yelled over to me. it could be so embarrassing... imagine she yelling what mistake i had committed and other dpt could know as well...=S.

i counted. i have been sitting at 3 diff places. that means, i changed place and telephone no every 2 months. amazing statistics.

i think i want attachment to FASTER end. its been months yet i still wished i dun need to wake up at six.>,<

no longer in my teens

hi all, among my friends, i am the first one to be outta my teens compared to those who had only been 19 for less than 30 days. lol.

today i reached home early .just nice. coz today is meant to be spent at my home sweet home.=)

today i saw BREL's CEO. he looked very distinguished and also quite Japanese. hahaha, dun ask me why. seems like a nice man , too bad his system screwed up on us. and on him too. it 'internal -server -error'ed him when he wanted to check the system.

only he couldnt even log into it when it 'internal-server-error'ed him. major oops!

today i got nothing much to do. i guess tmr will more than make up for it.

AM asked y the 3 interns from NYP r like not very pally with each other. HUH. i dun know leh. i wish i know. coz this 3 particular interns want nothing to do with each other? other ppl purposely want to build a wall ard themselves, disregard attempts at friendliness then that's it already what.

the most important thing being we r each fine being on our own.

i have memories on being dumped on my own by my own firewire ppl too. during orientation when the OGLs had to be in grp of 3s. who was "sacreficed" in the end? and why? coz she was thought to be able to survive on her own. with comparitive strangers. compared to the other ppl in qtn...

yup yup yup. nothing has changed. i am still fine on my own.



argh. i'm not gonna bring this issue up anymore.

l luv my friends.

how did our lifes end up so differently? my life is so drama-less compared to other ppl close to me. but it's okay. with drama or without , we all face problems . differnt sorts and different kinds. i am glad i dont have to face yours. HAHAHHA. thats when i am glad for havin such a plain life.

i love my friends. they make mi cry. no lah. just kidding. i am Not drama enough for tears. cityhall is fast becoming our lao-di-fang.lol. my sec friends celebrated bday for me along with the night breeze at Esplanade. together with a about-to-patched-up boyfriend of YH. who doubled up as an excellent photographer. still dun have the pics. BUT will definitely have them... soon. i hope.

spent 4 hours in Jean Yip to rebond my hair. total fell asleep when i sat down there. my butt hurt from sitting down so much. then subsequently, for the next few days, i just didnt have enough sleep. kept falling asleep on the bus. i am so afraid i would miss my stop.

suffering from sore throat. slight cold. and a maSSive headache.

_______

i have a headache everytime i think abt what i wan and what to do achieve them. there are numerous , diverse things which i wanna do but they always have the same demominator.

MONEY.

NTU talk-NYP co concert

i feel happy today.

went to the NTU Comm Studies talk with poly pals. as i surveyed the crowd and entertain the thought that i might go NTU and these r the new friends that i'll make... it made mi dread going to sch.

in the end, i have no regrets abt not being gd enough for NTU comm studies. the speakers totally...-.-

hello?!

the most vital... most important , vital facilities of sch life is the benches. we have small talk, eat lunch, do project, hold bazaars and have a short nap at the benches... therefore sch benches at the SCI are very vital in ur 4 yrs of sch life!!


huh... guess u r trying to be witty, humourous but forgetabtit. thanks.

so i am okay with NOT being able to "make it " for this programme. which appeared so yaya. "cooler than Engineering students? less weird than Lit students? "THE MOST GORGEOUS in the sch??

yes, humourous and spoken in a light manner. but still... yaya lor-.-

guess i will be doing a private degree at SIM.

then we had "high tea " at cedelele . eat the first scone of my life. with a spoon and knife. Hahahaha. listen to everyone talk. it was relaxed. it was good. i told them abt G.it is a relief to know that the problem doesnt lie with me. heck, its not my problem and its not a problem even. kkkkkk. wahtever.

then met with Alyssa- The One Whom Kelly Likes to Stare. Hahaa. we r so different but our friendship is so solid.

yesterday, was ushering at the CO concert. i couldnt spot alex and chin teck. but i have ur cd. maybe u guys should autograph for me...

and i am very touched that SAOs remenber me. i am used to being a forgotten character. anyway, i wasnt that prominent to them anyway. touched til the point of tears and supremely amazed that they have such good memories to remenber my name. (maybe cause it is easy to remenber.) ha.

felt i wasnt doing a lot for the CO Concert. standing there and sticking out my hand to show the way and even accidentally slapping a girl on the face when i stuck out my hand last minute while she was walking behind me. She VERY SUAY. and i very sorry. but very hilarious. HA.


at the last minute, proved myself useful coz i manged to help a pair of mother and daughter to find seats in the dark and quite full audi. hearing their thanks made mi feel good. then got free food and just horse around generally with ateam ppl.

lifa said i am going to be out of ateam. she asked for a reason for me to remain in the team. guess what. i didnt want to provide a reason. if you want to kick me out. so be it. i am okay with it. since i am gonna grad in 2 months and there is nothing much i could do essentially. cool. calm and a bit too nonchalent. haha.

well, u didnt know that i did feel sad but i refused to tear and acted it was no big deal. truth was i was very VERY glad to know it is NOT true. ... right?!

IPP stripped me of the chance to join the installation programme. OT made it impractical for me to go GM. but i am reallllly glad of the ppl there r still so nice and friendly!!=)

a long entry coz so much happened. if i was not dreaming. my friend is goonnna get married and i will be helping her out her dinner bash! hahaha. what a change in direction when we r not that different to begin with.

AM's father suddenly went hospital on friday due to heart attack. so suddden. so sad. i hope everything will be ok. it effectively made mi squash all thoughts to go overseas study. i want to stay close to home and parents and my friends. i am learning new things still. typing in chinese, even. haha.

introducing the new intern(k)

i bought lemons to freshen the air up, due to the unfortunate mess created by the supervisor.that was about around 8.15 am.

then, help kaidi write 211 for about 300 hundred envelopes. then suddenly, Mary asked me to call Eugene and tells me that there is someone outside waiting to meet a marketing rep. HAIZ. felt like i was pulled in all directions. Eugene wanted us to go to NHS, which is at CLEMENTI... NOW. right boss, not when there is some external party all prepared for a meeting...right? thats about 10 am

then this guy rep from whatever print company, was expecting a manager, too bad end up its me. somemore he so tall, literately looked down on me. But still, after confessing i am just a intern, he never lost professionalism, still went through his sales call quite nicely, perhaps more relaxed. HAH.

duno why, started to ask what i study... and turned out we studied about the same thing. except he went for a uni edu at Perth. that explains his eng accent. even got to know he is into production but too bad, doing sales coz bread is more important afterall. running out of time, if not, i could have entertain him longer. so too bad, dude. HAH.

FINALLY STEP OUT of the office around 12 pm. haha, 2 hours after the first call to E. took cab to the NHS. sun so bright even big-eyed K had to squint until he smalled eyed like me. HAH. rush there, pay cab fare there goes the money in the wallet. NO MORE MONEE. very envious when we saw sec sch kids with a BIG wad of cash nonchalently.

go there ... not very productive in my opinion. stay at office would have accomplish more.

i just feel today is quite eventful. like a whirlwind day.

i hate red

hm, went to see 2 movies in a row.

firstly DEATH NOTE 2. just so that i can know the ending for this series. in the end, every lead character dies. if you dont want to think about writing any stories about original characters any longer just make the original lead characters ALL die.


then ta-DaaH. the end.


then, BLOOD DIAMOND. NC-16. blood and gore. now i aboslutely detest the color red. yucks!!! red reminds me of blood. of blood shed. of war. of unrest and death. no thanks.

me and KT both think its a good film. yes it is. this film squashed my desire for diamonds before i could i even start. it is a quite a sad film rooted in the ugliness of the extreme side of humanity.

so, my new year was spent watching Blood Diamond, in angst and suspense. in disbelieve with how crazy , self destructive humans can be with each other. lucky i didnt have nightmares last night.



i will be older in 24 days' time. GOSH!!! ... GAWD. no more candy and school. it has become money and work. it really doesnt feel that long when i was in primary sch and being caned when i was naughty. HAHAHA.

how my priorites had changed. i want a degree. a carreer. a boyfriend. a family. and 1.8 children.
i want to study communications. earn a lot of monee. do lasik. i want to travel as much as i can. i want to invest my monee instead of just saving it in POSB.

but HAH. bullshit lah. i want to be contented with my life even if i cant have anything above.



cant be bothered to make new year resolutions anymore. they usually dont come true for me.

LAST week

it is over. the last working week of 2006. left office early according to usual standards. the person who is supposed to sign , didnt want to sign my time sheets on the spot. i mean, he said, can he sign in the afternoon, technically yes. and do intern say no? but when afternoon came he looked busy and i didnt dare to talk (disturb) him.

so i wouldnt be getting my pay on time.

GREAT.

i talked to chee keng. the very nice person from HR and i told what happen with the person who is supposed to sign and she rolled her eyes. the person who is supposed to sign probably wouldnt bite if i had asked him lah... but it shows that he isnt considerate enough towards his intern's welfare.


NVM. i wouldnt die getting pay late. chee keng said that once i submit, i will get it in a weeks' time.

i spent friday night trying to shop with kelly but end up just window shopping. hahaha. mostly. WAHAHAHHA. i need a pair of slip-on heels! pronto!

my feet is quite sad now. bruises/cuts/scars/handiplasts everywhere!!!!!!!!


to dear maxine... time will heal ur wounds. hope you wont dwelll on it.


lastly



HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!!!!

shocked & guilty.

sometimes i dont believe myself.

i could upset my friend, a few continents away. made him feel bad abt himself and angry towards me.

i guess i accidentally crushed his ego/pride again. its something about me and guys and me rejecting guys. regardless what's their intention, friendly or otherwise. i panicked when i sensed his upset-ness, his anger. his hurt.

i panicked and didnt really understand what i said or more correctly, typed wrong. but he isnt the first guy to say that my name=rejection. ahmed syaz was the first to point this out, jokingly or not and i thought it had no ounce of truth in it.


i just want him to know that i am sorry for making him feel bad. and i remember a lot of promises which we made together. i reallly wonder will any single one of them come true.

rest rest rest!

got a MAJOR pimple near my lip. its causing major discomfort. i duno how come i am so tired despite sleeping for 7 hours. i mean, i yawn ... non stop. my eye lids twitch with exhuastion. and i fall asleep everywhere. almost. intern cannot fall asleep during work anyway. hahaha.

MCIS also had a party. 'party'. lol. think its fairly bad labeling. HAH. it would be more true if they put a 'tea' in front of it.

N today, i could finish the allorted work before time.even had time for some legal entertainment. kekekke.

had a off-in-lieu day on wednesday. thats just 2 days ago and it felt so long ago. i shopped so much that i hardly have any dough left in the bank. the good thing is, i dun have urge to shop anymore since i've got most of what i wanted. that being the key word. 'most'. HAHAH. i neever resist a good bargain lah.

and there is gonna be a new intern. i sure hope that it would not collapse last min. cause thats major good news. cause it looks like MCIS Mrkg could be doing PanPac's as well. the staff r gonna be so overworked. this situations had potential to be one of those case studies in our exam paper.

like, what r the advantages of merger in companies. the benefits of outsourcing and not outsourcing. the advantage is one person do two's companies' work. -.- think the managers have it worse.

i listened to SO MUCH 93.3 fm that i could practically sing to whatever chinese song u could possibly pick at K-box! thanks to all my colleagues there. kekeekek.

they like to joke tat i have stay back another six months to pay back for my blur-ness and for whatever not done right.

i am sure they r joking. so i laughed along.

then another guy said, besides working for another six months, potentially working for free, the situation would most likely deteriorate to ME paying to work for them. they laughed of course. i pretended not to hear. and resisted glaring at him or rolling my eyes.

he uses nice perfume. i mean, cologne or whatever. and before i forget, its kenneth cole's black. or something which sounds like that.

going off to sleep.=)

spinning around

YAY, the mktg team finally finish the website content updates. maybe need to adjust and refine here and there but the bulk its done. PHEW!!!

ever since the mrktg team starts to go on lunch together. we become quite crazy. I become quite reckless with my words. you know, the classic eve-syndromes. though my words are harmless and funny, it still might rub people the wrong way. BUT they would usually laugh first and say, EVE!!! YOU JUST EATTEN LEOPARD'S GUTS, IS IT??

okay, i will be careful to toe the line and not cross it. actually, i prefer not to be near the line at all. anyway, its been fun working with agnes, my Assist Manager.

she knows my weak points and doesnt ask me to any designing work. kekekee, i also have the real, convenient REASON of not havin photoshop at my comp. (thank god)

and there is also this guy, whose cologne is TERRIBLY NICE! i wonder whats the brand. perhaps its calvin kien? i have to ask him if i ever see him again. but the downside is, the cologne is there , mainly to mask his smoking aftermath. at least i think so.


staring at the computer screen for 13 hours is way too much for my eyesight. there isnt enough greenery in my life. and the luckiest thing i manage to GEDDIT. if not i will be so screwed upside down for the CMS update job. coz it always the intern's job. another PHEW!!!.


then after a eco-meeting/talk cock session at JURONG EAST... i met up with HCY to... what else. shop lo. i am going crazy with the sales! we were out from 1-8 pm and on average i maybe spent about $15 per hour. i am so gonna be broke. but somehow, i DON'T CARE. there is always the next paycheck.

on our way back, we saw some1 performing on a harp. some lady. so she looked realllllllly poised, elegant and angelic/fairy-like. i always associate fairy/angels with harps.

and thus, my day out ended with a nice musical note.

milkshake night

Oh my freaking god, 2006 will come to an END SOON. SO SOON!!!!!

Faint. Faint. Faint.
got my clubbin experience. Thought I would be like a piece of rock but with the loud music, the body just automatically swayed to the music. HAHA. The queueing part was hideous though. Coz it was the milkshake night, we were all like sardines but lucky got friend’s friends who could provide a helping hand.

But my time inside the club was cut short coz my friend had a panic attack. Yes. A panic attack. Coz she is claustrophobic and there were too many people for her brain to have sufficient oxygen and she had an attack. Poor thing.

And I bump into the Dinesh and Tim of all people. HAHAHAHAHA.

And I went to on a shoppin spree. Shoppin spree gives me a high. An impromptu spree. Wouldn’t consider it as retail therapy though. I realize I am more into comfort eating. Hmm, it would explains my (growing) size.

I think I cant wait for 2007. =)

further...

i wan to go Uni!!

we drank champagne. y did i ever associate champagne with sophisticatedness and classiness and everything nice and worldly?

hahaha. ok , whatever.

i wan to go jogging. i am afraid it will rain.

chOices

i've come to a conclusion.

what u choose is what you get.

and

i might doubt my decisions, but i dont regret.


the reprecussions r always unpredictable. and it happens to be worser or at least unhappier than i had thought it would be. i thought there would no reprecussions, to be honest.

surpRISE!

i went shoppin with Ms M&M and i took a pic with her. haha. my face isnt the biggest hor.

WHEEEeeee! i had a surprise present from my good ole brother. who is back from HK since yesterday. right! it's even wrapped. its PINK. -.-hm, it is a watch. i like. despite i am not a pink person. kekeke. thanks, korkor. i will try to be a better, nicer sister. ie refrain from crashin ur comp and buy nice food for u.