Merry xmas n a happy new year.

Dear Life,
I AM VERY HAPPY & SATISFIED with my life NOW. WHO KNEW?? THANK YOU.

At the start of 2012, I though I can work out  my dream branding job.But after I gave all that I am willing to give,,, things still arent going my way. I suppose after knowing what the "dream job"entails, my priority and my dream has CHANGED. Living my EX-Dream isnt motivating me to work harder and be happier. I realized I wasnt suitable for the ex-dream. Not that I am not capable, as my ex-bosses would hurry to add.  

at the end of 2012, I happen to to read a FB post about " happiness is not derived from living a past dream"(or similar)... I now know why I was miserable when i felt i could do nothing right. Just miserable. Not depressed, not clinically any way.

Life is ever-changing and simply amazing. So is that voice and courage to tell me to give up my past dream when I didnt have enough to give, to make the dream work. It is fundamentally scary and just plain unpleasant to know that I couldnt be what I want to be, without sacrificing 8h of sleep, weekends and me-time. At the same time, it is finally illuminating and motivational to know what you want more in life.

... and suddenly, i found myself wanting to shop for a wedding ring, gather some ideas for my dream wedding (for which I supposed I will only have 1 in my lifetime, as there is no other brave soul wanting to marry me and live in torment for the rest of his life...).This feeling of  "wanting to get married" is new to me. TOTALLY NEW. I have no idea why  I (finally??) have this desire in this time of the month although i do have a theory.

My theory is... I am finally ready to be on this path as I am closer to realizing the my singleton's dreams of seeing the world. Most of the countries which I wanna visit are on my check list. The last ultimatum... I am praying/working hard to see NY at the end of 2013.

and  then i freaked out myself, as i was reading  " I DONT KNOW HOW SHE DOES IT" and I actually imagine myself to relate to the leading character who is juggling motherhood and career. OMG; am I that past the young adult phrase already???( oh btw, i prob wont have career but just a enough & it will be enough for me.) SINCE WHEN DO I EVEN THINK ABOUT BEING A MOM WITH TWO KIDS???

since now i guess. after... I had my moments of madness,,, and with madness comes, clarity (with high price tag).

this moment of madness costs me $3800 SGD. there is about 12 tiny speaks of clarity (aka diamonds) inside. I always thought I would spend about about a few K on a bag FIRST but end up my first regretful splurge is a TH watch.

CHANT TO SELF: Money doesnt matter as long as I can earn it back. Although my heart pains still. (SMILE)


Life... is on a track. Have to work hard to stay this way. Have to trust that things will work itself out at the same time.

I'm just glad to be living in this moment.

FIRST time to Europe

Hi Eve,

Cant believe you finally made it to Europe after all these years, like 5 years, despite being just a worker ant. Cant believe you went to EASTERN Europe instead of the Paris/London, the way you always thought it will be. 

Life is strange but as long as you can go to Europe, it is just as good. We gotta be flexible, HUH? But despite you didnt go to those outlet shopping cities,  you gotta be super mindful of your expenditure, coz for some bewitched reason, you overspend on a bloody depreciating diamond watch. But since you always think money can be earned back... I suppose there is no use regretting  LIVE IN THE MOMENT!! ESPECIALLY SINCE IT WAS ON HOLIDAY, huh. 

I also think this attitude will kill you if it continues when you have to start feeding a family. Dont always rationalize your expenditure by saying "this is the last year i can spend recklessly on myself .... from 2014 onwards times changed, and spending on yourself is the ABSOLUTE last priority", with your 1/2 a million dollar HDB flat and expensive children (hopefully) to feed... I think you need to learn from your parents the way they treasure every last dollar. But still that's something happening in 2014. HAHA. 

OK, whatever. I think you cannot change your spots untill you realize you got last than $2k in your bank. And that all those material simply doesnt matter as long as you have a roof on your head & food in the refrigerator. 

Hmm. Would you have chosen not to go Europe despite being 10K poorer? Guess not, since $$ in the bank means nothing you as you dont even bother you shd ALREADY start saving for the bloody house. Guess you would still exchange it for the old world experience of Europe , to see the history in front of your eyes and to simply appreciate what you have in Spore more. (except for the hot sweaty weather). & worry about those worrisome housing/wedding matters later on. 

Anyway, will you be on track on your next big travel destination (that is like, so, the wrong priority, but still) ?? I know you so wanna go USA , another farwaway continent to be on the ultimate shopping spree. To see the land of the pop culture that you are living with since you know what is pop music. 

Well nobody knows. Nobody knows you would really splurge on that bloody depreciating watch. Nobody including yourself, huh. So seriously,  did that watch make you happy? Most likely yes, since in your heart, you really like it & like all the memories that it represents. 

& on a different note, it was quite a surprise for you to receive FB request from RT. But glad you didnt lose sleep after realizing all the lies he told you (once you finish scanning his fb page)

I mean, what is the reason for him toning down his family wealth?? Like, saying his family company is just small local firm compared to the one of the largest shipping company in the SEA worth quite a few million USD? Is it becoz 80 USD MIL, is just small change in his eyes? Maybe it is, coz you nvr know whats the psyche of rich ppl. 

& what is with saying he was a kid with no siblings, when he had 2 sibling?? Is he like, delusional? Maybe then, you had befriended a weirdo but you didnt know it.... how psycho & slightly creepy to know someone who couldnt tell the truth about the himself. 

Ok, I know, that is just you dramatizing your boring life. Thats what you always feel the need to explore the world so that you can add some awesome chapters in your life. & I know, you cant be bothered to stay perplexed with those weird stuff in life... once you have some awesome food to focus on!

And, that is it from me, 
love,
your voice in your head. 

europe: update

Seriouslyy... the more you plan, the more it seems like things Just don't work out.

like the once upon KL trip with Friend A, & she blown me away to go KOREA with her sis-business trip.

& again with Friend A, we were planning to go GREECE & discussing which airline to take, & suddenly her mom had a stroke & well, it is best that any holiday should be cancelled/postponed. (DISAPPOINTMENT. But  no choice)

Been planning /anticipating to go central Europe since Aug. Anticipating to go to the factory & buy at least one "cheap" wallet as momento, friends were all so ready with their shopping list & look what happened? Trip got cancelled & I will be getting a full refund.

so, if it is not meant to be, it never will be.

Anyway, I cannot give up on my holiday so easily/ at all. So, my nicest BF & me went to find a replacement trip... which had us ended up going to Eastern Europe instead. Coz, it was the most value for money package out of the ones we checked ( coz we still get the FOC DUBAI value-add despite it is a diff tour agency).  heheheheheh.

Really, it doesn't matter where we go, as long as I get a change of scenery, & i have my nicest BF with me. He is so nice that even the uncle at the travel agency commented that he is so nice! Heheheh. YAYA... i know ppl will be reminding me that i shouldnt take him for granted.  YAH. i am not.

The next time, we go for holiday. I will NOT dictate where to go! & I guess he will wanna go JPN. So I guess... I will subtly , naturally let  him know the reasons why we should visit HOKKAIDO. heheheheh. 

new. new. new job

Yah, I've turned into a job hopper & I just completed my honeymoon first week at Takasago, perfume chemical house. I enjoyed the industrial estate with the cheap lunches & cheap coffee that is just 60% of the price I used to pay at liang court. The food is not too bad either! I am really happy with this. I like the company bus. (altho the service std is not consistent on the way back). I like my boss, I think she is real pretty & seems to have patience to guide & teach me slowly... so I wont be tooo afraid. I like that I am working with US and PARIS counterparts, coz even tho I will never work there, at least I get to liase with ppl from those self-perceived glam countries. I get to work with people from diff nationalities which is interesting to me coz it makes feel that I am truly in a MNC, learning stuff from Europeans & Philippinos & good ole Malaysians. 

I am still in very in touch with FMCG, or at least I feel so, with all the numerous products piled up on the floor. & another interesting aspect is that I will be in charge of fine fragrance as well. Sniff sniff, the perk is that we will get to know & wear the latest fragrance or simply channel n.5. 

It seems like the bulk of my job is to present & convince ppl to take up our products. What goes behind those 15min presentations is at least 1 week of rehearsals & 1 month of presentation, I foresee that happening for my first presentation, definitely. Will just keep fingers crossed.

Anyway, I nvr thought that I cant stick it out with KAO for at least 2-3 years. LOL. I am driven mad by the hours & the ... STUFF. Standees? Gondolas? Size of Carpet? Height of Poster Stand? Driven dammm mad & felt like the stupid things that doesn't cause any life or death made my life very miserable indeed. 

Wearing the pros & cons, I decided that to take a break. Altho, I means I only lasted one year there. Too bad for me. My health and mental soundness can only take so much. I think I was mentally and physically fatigued that's why I keep making the same mistakes again. (and also, becoz  to a certain extent, one month the same thing is OK, approved. & the next month, the same thing is NOT ok, anymore). 

So I just arrived at a conclusion. at THE conclusion>> I dont care. Dont care enough to stay there. I want to leave. 

I want to leave to go EUROPE. BUT ALAS, my promotional departure date does not have enough headcount. SO NOW, I HAD NO EUROPE to go to >,<. To think I also announced that I am counting down to Europe. My disappointment is so tremendous that I can feel my heart sinking with punctured disappointment. 

Hi Cameron!

It was the first time going to cameron highlands! Had been looking forward to going to the mountains for past few weeks. But, now as a conclusion, I thought the best time to go was when we were still taking human geography... it will be amazing to see the terracing in front of our eyes back as a geo students. would have definitely made passing human geography easier & more fun.

Even though the coach ride was not 100% comfortable, I think it was tolerable. The cool fresh air & greenery did not disappoint. Did not take a lot of photos cause wasnt feeling photogenic...

We were so near the blue sky & clouds!

& we also have a free hi-tea set. It was simple. Although it is also three-tiered, it was nothing like the gourmet TWG tea set.

I was happy with the room too. big clean spacious. Heritage hotel is not bad! except the health club was closed & there is flies around the food.

I love the nasi lemak, ikan billis & sambal!

I did think the strawberry farm was a disappointing, cause i keep thinking it will be strawberry field. like vineyard. but turn out to be:

but nothing can get me down when we are so near the greenery & the pretty flowers...

We love the fresh air!

I love myself & i love to cam whore!

They look deliciously sweet but looks are deceiving.

love the prata we had. crispy & fluffy.

I quite like the different pace & feel of this malaysian region. I wanna visit & explore other cities of msia. Misa is so near but so different!

stronger

today is Saturday and my boss & supplier was whatsapping each other at 11am about some shitty issue that only happens to suay people like me or a freaky basis, which, of course, also mean it must happen to me...

I , of course, didnt know about the whatsapping until they finished their conversation cause i couldnt care less about my phone & instead, was stoning and eating breakfast in front of the tv set.

hmmmm.

i wasnt expecting the whatsapping to happen & i just feel sian. & then something more sian happen. my supplier called me to tell me they cocked up something that we , as client, as already highlighted & forewarned them. so must redo. rework. & the fulfilment date is coming monday. thats y he bothered to call on a saturday & spoil my weekend.

was feeling sian but at least things could be resolved peacefully with a few sms. **PHEW**

so wat dont kill u, MAKES U STRONGER.

i heart my yoga class! i really feel GOOD when i am in class n all i need to do is try to fulfill the damm pose. the alignment of body, soul & spirit!!

adele

i love adele's voice! i would willing pay for her music & i did. kinda like, win some lose some. take some, give some. if i really like something, i will buy it. if not... i guess i will stick to downloading it. i have my morales & ethics... but just not a lot. haha. or they are not with me all the time.

i also wonder why didn't adele's company ask her to lose some weight. is it some strategy to truly make her stand out of the crowd. but i think it will be ideal for her to lose some weight just to be within the healthy bmi. she looks (pretty) enormous despite the photoshop... but i guess, if she truly lose weight (to be on the healthy & not skinny side) it will probably help sell a lot of magazines & tabloids. Milking her possible future story angles already.

and i just paid for a second chance to go strawberry fields again! with Ms Jasmine Ho. hehehehhe. i am pretty sure this time i will succeed in making my way there. Positivity helps!

Now i am comtemplating should i sign up for a one year yoga package... my muscles are still aching from my first hot yoga lesson at real yoga. thinking thinking... it is not so easy to make me part with me this much of $$ !!

in debt

i will be so in-debt, that i dunno how in debt i am. to my eyeballs, maybe? hahahah. thanks to trivelis. but trivelis... is a place which i look forward to, although i am sure there are as much cons as pros.

actually i nvr thought about owning a place untill ... now actually. untill i signed myself into hdb debt. untill we set up a savings account, making me have $300 less liquidity each month. & now, i am kinda excited & i cant wait to see the fruition of these decisions.

sometimes i feel like, can i just fast forward 3 years? I wanna be decorating my house!!!!! so wrong a reason, but still, it is one of the big things i look forward in life. probably i cant decorate it much , since it is so small. but it means i dun need to spend too much on furniture & misc simply because there is no space to put. *phew*...........

i m too pragmatic for my own good. but here in good ole singapore, i kinda feel like i am like due to environment.

2012

i start off 2012 knowing that i put on weight. the same 5kg that i lost... that made ppl comment i was skinny.

NOW, ppl almost cant recognise me cause i got rounder ... just really bigger size me. anywayzzz. it is a wake up call that i cant snack at night. i cant eat (snack) after 9pm at night. if i do .... the 5kg (or more) come chasing after me, i only did calories in, but no calories out.

healthy living... here i come! & I will climb those stairs again. i will cut those carbs again, again and again.

I want to make a habit to take part in lucky draw contest that being run by products that i already use or dun mind using. esp those lucky draws that offer cash prizes. i like this way better compared to buying 4D, hoping to strike one of the prizes.

I am a confirmed staff of cow singapore. after 4 months. that means my probation was extended!!! my boss thinks i am ok, except that i tend to be rash & dun think things through. i think she was also trying to say i am gullible too. ohhh wellz.

i am also not sure what to think of the 3% annual increment/adjustment.... but there is a consensus that we , execs of cow, are partly paying to learn , paying for the opportunities and paying for the valuable exposure that not many other places offer ; paying for the chance to build up our resumes. Then i found that that some of the mktg execs suffered a pay cuts to join cow. omg. if they were to give me a paycut. i doubt i would have joined. or maybe... i would, depending what chris-the-career-consultant advised me. gawd knows.

and it's time to have a joint account with zh. i feel bad at times, cause i am such a self-centred gf at times. made possible, cause he is so bo-chap about everything.it cultivates this bad habit.

and in 2012... can i really make it to USA? with no silver spoon , rich parents or high paying job, i am hoping one of the contests which i will be participating can help me in this. ^.^ cheers to the power of positive thinking.

i know what i want for ...retirement

For the first time in quite a few years, I feel like this has been quite a looong year. So much has happened. Too much, in fact. So much so that i finally realize what is making feel me tired.

LIFE.

!!!

yeah... it sounds like I am tired of living. But living is tiring. Why cant I be like the korean 90 years old couple who bought a piece of land & grow raddish for retirement. They are 90 years old and yet they are still very healthy, able to climb stairs and handwash their laundry at a nearby stream. They are still so active at 90 years old!

They had the right balance of electricity and technology. No compulsion to have/check digital gadgets.

It probably signifies that I have an innate refusal to move along with the times.

ANyway, I would like to have their kind of retirement.

random:
BF was making me so pissed that he just want to watch a movie during the weekend. For. every. weekend. why isnt he TIRED of doing the same thing again & again ( Ok, i realize the same can be said for me & shopping but at least with shopping, you get to stroll around & burn some calories).

We need to get up and move our ass!! Cause sometimes i look at him & imagine seeing a normal weighing guy, in a fat suit. I wonder whats the real appearance of this guy underneath the fat suit? I wonder whats the shape of his jaw. I wonder why is his head too big for his specs; thus his specs creates a red mark when he wears them. Sometimes, i sit down & feel like my butt is expanding. hmm, am i developing an issue with weight, for all the meaningless meaning that it means?!

hurt pride

for all the ridicule i made abt the bf's weight, his pride is nvr hurt.

then i found out too late that it is not the same case with money.

talking about money is always such a sensitive subject. y isnt his weight the same? i always wanted to ridicule him and shame him into losing weight so that he will stop snoring so loudly & stop sweating like a pig in the slightest heat like drinking hot soup. but i nvr succeed.

so i didnt even try to ridicule him abt $$ and he reacted so badly so that i always think is this the right person for me? esp when we are almost at the stage whereby we wanna buy a flat!! now is the time to KNOW.

then again. there is never a right person. just the person who happens to be at the right place and right time. yup. i agree. lets be pragmatic & admit that there will probably never be another guy who is 2x as nice and interested in me. & probably it is the same way for him.

i just wanna roll my eyes majorly at him now.-.-

rants.

Often, I make myself feel bad or veeeerrrrry bad over any screwups which I committed.So to counter the bad vibes, I will make it a point to remember the times when i didnt screwup. So I just have to remember the moments whereby things r done right & keep up the momentum.

& seriouslyyyyy... i dont know why i have such a difficult time trying to find mustard stuff ! is it because really they are out of season? But I truly llike the color now, (maybe after months & weeks of seeing the color everywhere...) but by now, mustard stuff r so hard to find & even if I spot them, they are way of out of budget. BLEAH.

So what is the point here? I should find ways to earn more $ or born rich.

love what u work

I admit I don't really work THAT hard, but why do I still feel fatigue by six pm?

I realize Steve Jobs' words about working for what you love has a resonating effect within me. So, Am I working for what I love or not? Either I find something that I love to work for or I grow to love the something that I am already working for.

I suspect it will be the later.

I've been at cow for 2 months and truly, i am learning something everyday... I feel like I am acting geener & more inexperienced than I should be behaving. i feel its an ardous teething process. and i just want to rant abt this ardous horrifying learnning process again. AND AGAIN. and maybe on a daily basis just to get it outta the system.

What is the Use of Hindsight?

On hindsight, I would have ...
1) take up the offer of my ex-GM who said she could help me write a testimmonial if I want. But I didn't ask for it, in the end. And now, I am wondering why did I not? Jeezzz. Even if it is not career boosting, at least it would have been fun to know what is her perspective of me.

I have a suspection that I have a warped sense of certain aspects of myself. Hmmmmm. Too little too late. So what is the use of hindsight now? I would have just say YES, THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR TIME AND WRITING SKILLS.

At least I have from ex-ex marketing manager.

So what is happening to me at KAO Singapore?

Hm . nothing much. except that we shop at bugis village during lunch time recently and then i discovered that it has changed quite a lot... again. GOSH. I almost feel I am too old to keep up with changes and to a certain extent, I want things to Stay The Same.

Playing the game of tug&war with Time and of course, Time wins single-handedly.

Phuket & then... First week at Cow.

Phuket is gorgeous because this is what you see on a daily basis... The massages were what I needed following a physcially tiring trip at HongKong. Even though the one at Lets Relax cost a bomb (most expensive spa/massage package I ever paid), even though the herbal suana experience at Lets Relax made me feel like I would die of suffocation. Even though, there was mosquito at a random cheap massage parlour we went.

The only one which I was complaint-free about, was the one at Savanah Spa. Cheap, effective and good pure massage.

Personally, i thought my skin looked happy and better when I was there... . So I must learn to relax and be happy everyday like I was , while at Phuket!
My first week at Cow was spent doing nothing; pretending that I have something to do. I was absolutely bored out of my mind and bored of staring at the Fujitsu laptop.

But I was happy that I could leave at 5.45pm. Cause once things are truly on my plate... gawd knows what time I will be leaving, huh? I am still trying to fit in... and sigh... i wish I can fast forward this awkward/painful teething process.

Seaside Escapade coming up...

You could see the beautiful sea from Stanley market. I wonder the price of property there.
Been a long time since I had been near the sea or to the beach for sun, sand and just fun. Or just plain lazing around. I envision myself to hide under the beach brolly and read a good chick lit ( which I had already gotten a copy waiting for me to race through the pages).

I envision myself to have eye candy in the form of hot beach hunks with 6 pecs. Tall, dark and handsome, please, thanks.

I envision myself to have a healthy tan. Just a little. I prefer to be fair after all.

I envision myself to have fun with my ex-colleague. Who knew we would be going a 3d2n escapade together, cause I barely knew her 3 months ago?

Life is just plain amazing as I grow older. There are so many things to look forward to!

gratitude and gratefulness

i had yet another farewell dinner with my close supplier-friend yesterday at saboten.

he was feeling sick but i still walk into a tonkatsu shop without flipping the menu only to discover they sell nothing but tonkatsu. not too suitable for a sick fella, but he was game to try. Heng the food was not bad, quite good.

The only flaw was that out of 3 managers who was supposed to attend, only 1 made it. One was too bogged down with work and one was sick. AWWWWWW. Too bad.

As a reflection of my journey with CV-Sg, I felt that I had been given more than I had given. I got to know some dependable reliable suppliers who will sacrefice sleep to see things thru (while i am alseep...haha) and help me meet a deadline with a sense of urgency deeper than mine.

And even if one year and three months is a short period of time, i just feel more experienced than ever. More experienced than the 2 years at SLS. There is just so much shitty things that I dont like doing that I am doing that make me feel i can overcome any thing any where since i already overcame them at CV-Sg. I appreciate people who spotted my mistakes and help me correct them. Learning through mistakes is a painful way but I survived!

Hence, through out my farewell speech, gratitude and gratefulness to my bosses and colleagues was the only main theme that i had wanted to bring across.

I had senoirs who recognised my potential and ability. who enjoyed working with me and I am very proud of that. It is a major feel good better and a sign to me that I ought to stay the way I am. Dont fix what is not broken. Even if I met vengeful, scheming individuals, it is best to leave them alone and just do my own stuff wholeheartedly.

Smart , knowing people can see and that is enough.

I can wait to start my new job on a higher level than I previously was. And importantly , credit goes to CV-sG for making me a better worker/person in an organisation. I feel like I can contribute and really value-add more in my next organisation.

I can sense the road in front of me is so long and meandering. I can't wait to see if I can climb and prove my way up to the corporate ladder or if I am only good at some mid-rung level.

Well. I don't care where I end up as long as I am happy doing what I am and will be doing.


Off to Hkg in the next 24 hours. I really love life as it is now. Who knew, really?

3 weeks of nothing-ness

i speed through my handover, no one time has much time. after handover, discover there is still some loose ends, but it's too late, we have to go to the farewell dinner. no time no time!!

so, i am here wondering what loose ends have i left behind & having the phobia that someone will have to clean up my mess or discover what mess i was in the midst in. the personal stuff like music files. email thread that i didnt delete... argh. how embarrassing.

SIGH.

anyway, i am kicked out already & it is for a good reason, huh.

i simply lucked out that Ms Lam is such a nice ladyyyyyyyy. If not, I duno how I would made it to work.

emotional ride.

to chart my emotions from the moment i receive THE LETTER

first week:
1- disbelief - disbelief that i am having a job offer the same day i receive THE LETTER. i was laughing instead of crying. but i did cry. cause of my bosses per last entry.

2- numbness - things were as per normal to me. still must do work. still sacrefice my saturday for them in return for off in lieu.

2nd week:
3- discomfort- want to tell my colleagues i have THE LETTER yet have to keep to myself cause my boss so. esp so when they tellin me about forward plans which no longer concern me one bit.

4- bochap- super bochap about current job esp since i signed the new offer. just do for the sake of doing but its killing me inside cause i really see no point in doing it. too bad i've got obligations. too bad.

5- happy- country manager thinks i am ready to be assistant manger in the next role. i just have to prove her right. even tho i am only a exec in the new place. because " i am a rare breed & i stand out because of USP"". oh my, the confidence she instill me. i am happy we had the little chit chat. so... i just have to pay my dues, do my freaking best, be a achiever and the $$$ will come later. keeping fingers crossed on that one.

cant believe that me n another LETTER receiver was congratulating ourselves for leaving. How positive/mad happy can we get?

6- pity- pity the rest of the ppl still there. have to take up portions of my workload. additional work but no additional income. pity them cause the potential new leadership has the potential to suck big time. i hear the groans coming from some people............. but maybe the new leadership can deliver drop dead heavyweight succes. hopefully the people will be happy during the process.

7- surprise- colleague from msia, actually whatsapp me even tho he know me fairly superficially, to show concern for me. god bless him. he think i am a good employee so i guess his judgement call is damm good. WHAHAHAH. hope to see him when i go kl in aug.

the last 2 weeks.. ahead:

3rd week:
8- impatience- wanna get out of there. esp true if the bintan escapade can be confirmed.

4th weeK:
9- stoning/ excited/ countdown/holiday mode!!?/ WOO HOOOO. SAYONARA.

i cant wait to carve out my career. i duno what the future brings but i am damm excited about it.

lost & found ( a job)

about 11 days ago, i lost my job in the name of merger. about 10 days ago, i received a job offer. omg. what good timing is it? to think it took me 2 trips before i finally signed the contract. the feeling of being wanted. right after the feeling of being discarded is extremely rewarding.

i had colleagues who specially sms me just to wish me well. yes, i will be well. please dont be worried for me. i had wanted this day to come... tho i wasnt planning on receiving the serverance package.


to think i was thinking about tendering since 4 months ago & they discarded me faster than i could give them a resignation letter. which is just as well. better even. if not i would have lost out of the severance package. one thing i dont understand, why cant they be open about who is being dismissed or not. is it because it will hurt the staff morale? wont staff morale be affected as long as they know people are leaving? not matter at which juncture of time?

i am glad that i am not wallowing in misery. i went though shock, sadness , acceptance and finally relief. and now... happiness!

i am glad & just plain happy that i have a new place to go. not to mention that i have 2 budget holidays to go to. life is good and will be better because it is all about choosing to be positive. i duno what i done to deserve this, but i just want to express gratitude to the somone that made this possible.

about 10 days ago, my hated sales manager was just a sales manager. about 9 days ago, he was promoted to business unit manager, simply because my previous country manager didnt took up this role which seemingly is almost like a demotion.

well, well, one person 's lost is another person's gain, huh?

so, does this mean that this sales manager is the best, second best, most suitable or most readily available?

fate just had to intervene such that i wont be in his team. WOOHOOO. i dont wanna be and i wont get to be. good luck to the others!

there is about another 13 days to go before my last day. seems like a short time but a lot had changed, I have changed. i learnt to work late. i learnt to shoot emails and be assertive. voice out my opinion when i disagree with something and i want to be heard & right the wrong impression even if the wrong impression came from someone more senior. & who cares about rubbing senior people the wrong way?

i just know that i am stronger because my env was so much tougher than SLS!

who would have a scold a supplier for giving me advise, without a permission that was not even needed? not from SLS. but yes, this sort of person exisit at CV-SG.

I have absolute disguest & comtempt for such a small-hearted person. was this person planning to see me fall flat when she is not around to provide "kind assistance"? was she intending to show off to people that her superiority , when she was counting on the chance that i will fall flat?

seriously... is she having mental issues?i would like to know her point of view though. that happened 15 months ago. does she still wish to see me fall flat now? or does she have real concern for me now as a colleague? or is she just plain 2 faced & scheming?


I still have things which I haven done simply because i dont like doing it & have been procastinating them for the LONGEST time. so what so what?

I wish they will stop asking me to do things with a completion date beyong 31 July.