positioning is a diplomatic way of lying/saving face/appearing good. it is vital in my line of work. i think my boss suit this line of work so damm much. a plastic bag is beneath her. a plastic bag is above me. she will put something in paper bag just so it has a high class feel regardless if inside that bag, lays a bag of chips worth $1.50.
she is a great mentor who teaches and guides me through the intricacies n soft skills of the professional world.
then i realize how inadequate i am. it's about positioning ... its abt maintaning image. maybe its becoz i dun care a damm abt this place. so i heck la. but damm. this is just so unpro of me!! i know. i am rational enough to know i am at fault. but i am sick of myself if i have lie and act like i believe it.
i take no pride in having an acting job done well.
that is so tiresome. that is something i dont do well! though that might be self fullfilling prohency. it drains my soul to think of lying as positioning. BLEAH.
i feel like i am a white paper which gets constantly stained with dirt and grime and soot when i am working.
maybe deep down. i just dun wanna grow up. and i havin trouble coming to grips with growing up.