new year resolutions!!!

2012 is 99.9% gone! So who cares about 2012 already? Now that I am with Yoga, I found out that reflection need not be done on annual basis. I had been reflecting as & when, when there is something worth to reflect and ruminate upon. So nothing particular to reflect upon now.

I am genuinely excited by 2013.

cause I never been on business trips so I look forward to know what they are like. Since its all SEA locations, i don't suppose it will be THAT tough. 3 trips coming up and I cant wait to see and smell the region for myself.   

I am excited by the prospect for searching for the ring that will make me fall in love at first sight. I thought I will find it at Tiffany coz I am really smitten by their advertising and eh, brand color. So, went to tiffany but ... it is so meh. So, the search continues. In the meantime, continue to brainwash self that the brand of ring doesnt matter. STOP BEING A BRAND WHORE.   

I am hopeful that in 2013 I can catch up with a long lost friend just to see how time has changed my friend. banking on the fact that my biz trip can happen. Time didnt change me. Did it change him? I missed our conversations, jokes and plain friendship. Does he?  

I am extra determined to go USA in 2013 cause i been smirked at for not being there before. Still have to keep fingers crossed that things can happen smoothly. 

Whatever will happen, will happen. Maybe Murphy's law will rule in the end. But in the meantime, I cant lose hope in 2013 and myself. 

petty colleague

Well well, the petty colleague IS ME.

Cause I will not forget the snide remarks which i am taking it as a personal attack on me... simply cause I am the only one who has not been to USA while ''everyone has''.

being the travel-freak that i am, i took this especially personally.cause my travels are funded by myself. y should i be looked down upon by someone who probably funds her expenditure by her parents. who went to USA on student exchange program? BLEAH..

and omg, it is so funny to laugh AT me simply cause I am one month older than you?!!!

so insensitive. so funny-haha-my-toenail-have-trouble-snickering.

and I noticed that you are always so quick to defend yourself even something is wrong. Jesus!! no-one is pointing fingers at anyone, why are you so fast to make sure people know you were ...right? it is so prissy and a sign of poor team spirit. I cant  help thinking should there be a slightest sign of trouble, you will forsake your team members just so you can save your skin.

I wish I can lecture this semi-fresh grad that it is utterly unprofessional to verbalise that you do not wish to work with certain colleague coz this certain colleague will push you to deliver things and in that sense, isnt that easy to work with.

I wish I can lecture that it is unprofessional to ASSUME that my day is as unproductive as yours simply cause you think yours was unproductive.

I wish you can contain your disdain for the PRCs to yourself and stop sharing with me.


HMMMMMM,


I now understand why the previous colleague didnt want to speak to you much for leisure.


Everything has a reason.  

>>>>>.it is just so good to get this snide remarks out of my system. 

maybe we are all mad. .

I really like the below except from the anointed notes which I read in Alice In Wonderland...

THEAETETUS: I certainly cannot undertake to argue that madmen or dreamers think truly, when they imagine, some of them that they are gods, and others that they can fly, and are flying in their sleep. SOCRATES: Do you see another question which can be raised about these phenomena, notably about dreaming and waking? THEAETETUS: What question? SOCRATES: A question which I think that you must often have heard persons ask:--How can you determine whether at this moment we are sleeping, and all our thoughts are a dream; or whether we are awake, and talking to one another in the waking state? THEAETETUS: Indeed, Socrates, I do not know how to prove the one any more than the other, for in both cases the facts precisely correspond;--and there is no difficulty in supposing that during all this discussion we have been talking to one another in a dream; and when in a dream we seem to be narrating dreams, the resemblance of the two states is quite astonishing. SOCRATES: You see, then, that a doubt about the reality of sense is easily raised, since there may even be a doubt whether we are awake or in a dream. And as our time is equally divided between sleeping and waking, in either sphere of existence the soul contends that the thoughts which are present to our minds at the time are true; and during one half of our lives we affirm the truth of the one, and, during the other half, of the other; and are equally confident of both. THEAETETUS: Most true. SOCRATES: And may not the same be said of madness and other disorders? the difference is only that the times are not equal.

Merry xmas n a happy new year.

Dear Life,
I AM VERY HAPPY & SATISFIED with my life NOW. WHO KNEW?? THANK YOU.

At the start of 2012, I though I can work out  my dream branding job.But after I gave all that I am willing to give,,, things still arent going my way. I suppose after knowing what the "dream job"entails, my priority and my dream has CHANGED. Living my EX-Dream isnt motivating me to work harder and be happier. I realized I wasnt suitable for the ex-dream. Not that I am not capable, as my ex-bosses would hurry to add.  

at the end of 2012, I happen to to read a FB post about " happiness is not derived from living a past dream"(or similar)... I now know why I was miserable when i felt i could do nothing right. Just miserable. Not depressed, not clinically any way.

Life is ever-changing and simply amazing. So is that voice and courage to tell me to give up my past dream when I didnt have enough to give, to make the dream work. It is fundamentally scary and just plain unpleasant to know that I couldnt be what I want to be, without sacrificing 8h of sleep, weekends and me-time. At the same time, it is finally illuminating and motivational to know what you want more in life.

... and suddenly, i found myself wanting to shop for a wedding ring, gather some ideas for my dream wedding (for which I supposed I will only have 1 in my lifetime, as there is no other brave soul wanting to marry me and live in torment for the rest of his life...).This feeling of  "wanting to get married" is new to me. TOTALLY NEW. I have no idea why  I (finally??) have this desire in this time of the month although i do have a theory.

My theory is... I am finally ready to be on this path as I am closer to realizing the my singleton's dreams of seeing the world. Most of the countries which I wanna visit are on my check list. The last ultimatum... I am praying/working hard to see NY at the end of 2013.

and  then i freaked out myself, as i was reading  " I DONT KNOW HOW SHE DOES IT" and I actually imagine myself to relate to the leading character who is juggling motherhood and career. OMG; am I that past the young adult phrase already???( oh btw, i prob wont have career but just a enough & it will be enough for me.) SINCE WHEN DO I EVEN THINK ABOUT BEING A MOM WITH TWO KIDS???

since now i guess. after... I had my moments of madness,,, and with madness comes, clarity (with high price tag).

this moment of madness costs me $3800 SGD. there is about 12 tiny speaks of clarity (aka diamonds) inside. I always thought I would spend about about a few K on a bag FIRST but end up my first regretful splurge is a TH watch.

CHANT TO SELF: Money doesnt matter as long as I can earn it back. Although my heart pains still. (SMILE)


Life... is on a track. Have to work hard to stay this way. Have to trust that things will work itself out at the same time.

I'm just glad to be living in this moment.

FIRST time to Europe

Hi Eve,

Cant believe you finally made it to Europe after all these years, like 5 years, despite being just a worker ant. Cant believe you went to EASTERN Europe instead of the Paris/London, the way you always thought it will be. 

Life is strange but as long as you can go to Europe, it is just as good. We gotta be flexible, HUH? But despite you didnt go to those outlet shopping cities,  you gotta be super mindful of your expenditure, coz for some bewitched reason, you overspend on a bloody depreciating diamond watch. But since you always think money can be earned back... I suppose there is no use regretting  LIVE IN THE MOMENT!! ESPECIALLY SINCE IT WAS ON HOLIDAY, huh. 

I also think this attitude will kill you if it continues when you have to start feeding a family. Dont always rationalize your expenditure by saying "this is the last year i can spend recklessly on myself .... from 2014 onwards times changed, and spending on yourself is the ABSOLUTE last priority", with your 1/2 a million dollar HDB flat and expensive children (hopefully) to feed... I think you need to learn from your parents the way they treasure every last dollar. But still that's something happening in 2014. HAHA. 

OK, whatever. I think you cannot change your spots untill you realize you got last than $2k in your bank. And that all those material simply doesnt matter as long as you have a roof on your head & food in the refrigerator. 

Hmm. Would you have chosen not to go Europe despite being 10K poorer? Guess not, since $$ in the bank means nothing you as you dont even bother you shd ALREADY start saving for the bloody house. Guess you would still exchange it for the old world experience of Europe , to see the history in front of your eyes and to simply appreciate what you have in Spore more. (except for the hot sweaty weather). & worry about those worrisome housing/wedding matters later on. 

Anyway, will you be on track on your next big travel destination (that is like, so, the wrong priority, but still) ?? I know you so wanna go USA , another farwaway continent to be on the ultimate shopping spree. To see the land of the pop culture that you are living with since you know what is pop music. 

Well nobody knows. Nobody knows you would really splurge on that bloody depreciating watch. Nobody including yourself, huh. So seriously,  did that watch make you happy? Most likely yes, since in your heart, you really like it & like all the memories that it represents. 

& on a different note, it was quite a surprise for you to receive FB request from RT. But glad you didnt lose sleep after realizing all the lies he told you (once you finish scanning his fb page)

I mean, what is the reason for him toning down his family wealth?? Like, saying his family company is just small local firm compared to the one of the largest shipping company in the SEA worth quite a few million USD? Is it becoz 80 USD MIL, is just small change in his eyes? Maybe it is, coz you nvr know whats the psyche of rich ppl. 

& what is with saying he was a kid with no siblings, when he had 2 sibling?? Is he like, delusional? Maybe then, you had befriended a weirdo but you didnt know it.... how psycho & slightly creepy to know someone who couldnt tell the truth about the himself. 

Ok, I know, that is just you dramatizing your boring life. Thats what you always feel the need to explore the world so that you can add some awesome chapters in your life. & I know, you cant be bothered to stay perplexed with those weird stuff in life... once you have some awesome food to focus on!

And, that is it from me, 
love,
your voice in your head. 

europe: update

Seriouslyy... the more you plan, the more it seems like things Just don't work out.

like the once upon KL trip with Friend A, & she blown me away to go KOREA with her sis-business trip.

& again with Friend A, we were planning to go GREECE & discussing which airline to take, & suddenly her mom had a stroke & well, it is best that any holiday should be cancelled/postponed. (DISAPPOINTMENT. But  no choice)

Been planning /anticipating to go central Europe since Aug. Anticipating to go to the factory & buy at least one "cheap" wallet as momento, friends were all so ready with their shopping list & look what happened? Trip got cancelled & I will be getting a full refund.

so, if it is not meant to be, it never will be.

Anyway, I cannot give up on my holiday so easily/ at all. So, my nicest BF & me went to find a replacement trip... which had us ended up going to Eastern Europe instead. Coz, it was the most value for money package out of the ones we checked ( coz we still get the FOC DUBAI value-add despite it is a diff tour agency).  heheheheheh.

Really, it doesn't matter where we go, as long as I get a change of scenery, & i have my nicest BF with me. He is so nice that even the uncle at the travel agency commented that he is so nice! Heheheh. YAYA... i know ppl will be reminding me that i shouldnt take him for granted.  YAH. i am not.

The next time, we go for holiday. I will NOT dictate where to go! & I guess he will wanna go JPN. So I guess... I will subtly , naturally let  him know the reasons why we should visit HOKKAIDO. heheheheh. 

new. new. new job

Yah, I've turned into a job hopper & I just completed my honeymoon first week at Takasago, perfume chemical house. I enjoyed the industrial estate with the cheap lunches & cheap coffee that is just 60% of the price I used to pay at liang court. The food is not too bad either! I am really happy with this. I like the company bus. (altho the service std is not consistent on the way back). I like my boss, I think she is real pretty & seems to have patience to guide & teach me slowly... so I wont be tooo afraid. I like that I am working with US and PARIS counterparts, coz even tho I will never work there, at least I get to liase with ppl from those self-perceived glam countries. I get to work with people from diff nationalities which is interesting to me coz it makes feel that I am truly in a MNC, learning stuff from Europeans & Philippinos & good ole Malaysians. 

I am still in very in touch with FMCG, or at least I feel so, with all the numerous products piled up on the floor. & another interesting aspect is that I will be in charge of fine fragrance as well. Sniff sniff, the perk is that we will get to know & wear the latest fragrance or simply channel n.5. 

It seems like the bulk of my job is to present & convince ppl to take up our products. What goes behind those 15min presentations is at least 1 week of rehearsals & 1 month of presentation, I foresee that happening for my first presentation, definitely. Will just keep fingers crossed.

Anyway, I nvr thought that I cant stick it out with KAO for at least 2-3 years. LOL. I am driven mad by the hours & the ... STUFF. Standees? Gondolas? Size of Carpet? Height of Poster Stand? Driven dammm mad & felt like the stupid things that doesn't cause any life or death made my life very miserable indeed. 

Wearing the pros & cons, I decided that to take a break. Altho, I means I only lasted one year there. Too bad for me. My health and mental soundness can only take so much. I think I was mentally and physically fatigued that's why I keep making the same mistakes again. (and also, becoz  to a certain extent, one month the same thing is OK, approved. & the next month, the same thing is NOT ok, anymore). 

So I just arrived at a conclusion. at THE conclusion>> I dont care. Dont care enough to stay there. I want to leave. 

I want to leave to go EUROPE. BUT ALAS, my promotional departure date does not have enough headcount. SO NOW, I HAD NO EUROPE to go to >,<. To think I also announced that I am counting down to Europe. My disappointment is so tremendous that I can feel my heart sinking with punctured disappointment. 

Hi Cameron!

It was the first time going to cameron highlands! Had been looking forward to going to the mountains for past few weeks. But, now as a conclusion, I thought the best time to go was when we were still taking human geography... it will be amazing to see the terracing in front of our eyes back as a geo students. would have definitely made passing human geography easier & more fun.

Even though the coach ride was not 100% comfortable, I think it was tolerable. The cool fresh air & greenery did not disappoint. Did not take a lot of photos cause wasnt feeling photogenic...

We were so near the blue sky & clouds!

& we also have a free hi-tea set. It was simple. Although it is also three-tiered, it was nothing like the gourmet TWG tea set.

I was happy with the room too. big clean spacious. Heritage hotel is not bad! except the health club was closed & there is flies around the food.

I love the nasi lemak, ikan billis & sambal!

I did think the strawberry farm was a disappointing, cause i keep thinking it will be strawberry field. like vineyard. but turn out to be:

but nothing can get me down when we are so near the greenery & the pretty flowers...

We love the fresh air!

I love myself & i love to cam whore!

They look deliciously sweet but looks are deceiving.

love the prata we had. crispy & fluffy.

I quite like the different pace & feel of this malaysian region. I wanna visit & explore other cities of msia. Misa is so near but so different!

stronger

today is Saturday and my boss & supplier was whatsapping each other at 11am about some shitty issue that only happens to suay people like me or a freaky basis, which, of course, also mean it must happen to me...

I , of course, didnt know about the whatsapping until they finished their conversation cause i couldnt care less about my phone & instead, was stoning and eating breakfast in front of the tv set.

hmmmm.

i wasnt expecting the whatsapping to happen & i just feel sian. & then something more sian happen. my supplier called me to tell me they cocked up something that we , as client, as already highlighted & forewarned them. so must redo. rework. & the fulfilment date is coming monday. thats y he bothered to call on a saturday & spoil my weekend.

was feeling sian but at least things could be resolved peacefully with a few sms. **PHEW**

so wat dont kill u, MAKES U STRONGER.

i heart my yoga class! i really feel GOOD when i am in class n all i need to do is try to fulfill the damm pose. the alignment of body, soul & spirit!!

adele

i love adele's voice! i would willing pay for her music & i did. kinda like, win some lose some. take some, give some. if i really like something, i will buy it. if not... i guess i will stick to downloading it. i have my morales & ethics... but just not a lot. haha. or they are not with me all the time.

i also wonder why didn't adele's company ask her to lose some weight. is it some strategy to truly make her stand out of the crowd. but i think it will be ideal for her to lose some weight just to be within the healthy bmi. she looks (pretty) enormous despite the photoshop... but i guess, if she truly lose weight (to be on the healthy & not skinny side) it will probably help sell a lot of magazines & tabloids. Milking her possible future story angles already.

and i just paid for a second chance to go strawberry fields again! with Ms Jasmine Ho. hehehehhe. i am pretty sure this time i will succeed in making my way there. Positivity helps!

Now i am comtemplating should i sign up for a one year yoga package... my muscles are still aching from my first hot yoga lesson at real yoga. thinking thinking... it is not so easy to make me part with me this much of $$ !!

in debt

i will be so in-debt, that i dunno how in debt i am. to my eyeballs, maybe? hahahah. thanks to trivelis. but trivelis... is a place which i look forward to, although i am sure there are as much cons as pros.

actually i nvr thought about owning a place untill ... now actually. untill i signed myself into hdb debt. untill we set up a savings account, making me have $300 less liquidity each month. & now, i am kinda excited & i cant wait to see the fruition of these decisions.

sometimes i feel like, can i just fast forward 3 years? I wanna be decorating my house!!!!! so wrong a reason, but still, it is one of the big things i look forward in life. probably i cant decorate it much , since it is so small. but it means i dun need to spend too much on furniture & misc simply because there is no space to put. *phew*...........

i m too pragmatic for my own good. but here in good ole singapore, i kinda feel like i am like due to environment.

2012

i start off 2012 knowing that i put on weight. the same 5kg that i lost... that made ppl comment i was skinny.

NOW, ppl almost cant recognise me cause i got rounder ... just really bigger size me. anywayzzz. it is a wake up call that i cant snack at night. i cant eat (snack) after 9pm at night. if i do .... the 5kg (or more) come chasing after me, i only did calories in, but no calories out.

healthy living... here i come! & I will climb those stairs again. i will cut those carbs again, again and again.

I want to make a habit to take part in lucky draw contest that being run by products that i already use or dun mind using. esp those lucky draws that offer cash prizes. i like this way better compared to buying 4D, hoping to strike one of the prizes.

I am a confirmed staff of cow singapore. after 4 months. that means my probation was extended!!! my boss thinks i am ok, except that i tend to be rash & dun think things through. i think she was also trying to say i am gullible too. ohhh wellz.

i am also not sure what to think of the 3% annual increment/adjustment.... but there is a consensus that we , execs of cow, are partly paying to learn , paying for the opportunities and paying for the valuable exposure that not many other places offer ; paying for the chance to build up our resumes. Then i found that that some of the mktg execs suffered a pay cuts to join cow. omg. if they were to give me a paycut. i doubt i would have joined. or maybe... i would, depending what chris-the-career-consultant advised me. gawd knows.

and it's time to have a joint account with zh. i feel bad at times, cause i am such a self-centred gf at times. made possible, cause he is so bo-chap about everything.it cultivates this bad habit.

and in 2012... can i really make it to USA? with no silver spoon , rich parents or high paying job, i am hoping one of the contests which i will be participating can help me in this. ^.^ cheers to the power of positive thinking.