Dear Life,
I AM VERY HAPPY & SATISFIED with my life NOW. WHO KNEW?? THANK YOU.
At the start of 2012, I though I can work out my dream branding job.But after I gave all that I am willing to give,,, things still arent going my way. I suppose after knowing what the "dream job"entails, my priority and my dream has CHANGED. Living my EX-Dream isnt motivating me to work harder and be happier. I realized I wasnt suitable for the ex-dream. Not that I am not capable, as my ex-bosses would hurry to add.
at the end of 2012, I happen to to read a FB post about " happiness is not derived from living a past dream"(or similar)... I now know why I was miserable when i felt i could do nothing right. Just miserable. Not depressed, not clinically any way.
Life is ever-changing and simply amazing. So is that voice and courage to tell me to give up my past dream when I didnt have enough to give, to make the dream work. It is fundamentally scary and just plain unpleasant to know that I couldnt be what I want to be, without sacrificing 8h of sleep, weekends and me-time. At the same time, it is finally illuminating and motivational to know what you want more in life.
... and suddenly, i found myself wanting to shop for a wedding ring, gather some ideas for my dream wedding (for which I supposed I will only have 1 in my lifetime, as there is no other brave soul wanting to marry me and live in torment for the rest of his life...).This feeling of "wanting to get married" is new to me. TOTALLY NEW. I have no idea why I (finally??) have this desire in this time of the month although i do have a theory.
My theory is... I am finally ready to be on this path as I am closer to realizing the my singleton's dreams of seeing the world. Most of the countries which I wanna visit are on my check list. The last ultimatum... I am praying/working hard to see NY at the end of 2013.
and then i freaked out myself, as i was reading " I DONT KNOW HOW SHE DOES IT" and I actually imagine myself to relate to the leading character who is juggling motherhood and career. OMG; am I that past the young adult phrase already???( oh btw, i prob wont have career but just a enough & it will be enough for me.) SINCE WHEN DO I EVEN THINK ABOUT BEING A MOM WITH TWO KIDS???
since now i guess. after... I had my moments of madness,,, and with madness comes, clarity (with high price tag).
this moment of madness costs me $3800 SGD. there is about 12 tiny speaks of clarity (aka diamonds) inside. I always thought I would spend about about a few K on a bag FIRST but end up my first regretful splurge is a TH watch.
CHANT TO SELF: Money doesnt matter as long as I can earn it back. Although my heart pains still. (SMILE)
Life... is on a track. Have to work hard to stay this way. Have to trust that things will work itself out at the same time.
I'm just glad to be living in this moment.
I AM VERY HAPPY & SATISFIED with my life NOW. WHO KNEW?? THANK YOU.
At the start of 2012, I though I can work out my dream branding job.But after I gave all that I am willing to give,,, things still arent going my way. I suppose after knowing what the "dream job"entails, my priority and my dream has CHANGED. Living my EX-Dream isnt motivating me to work harder and be happier. I realized I wasnt suitable for the ex-dream. Not that I am not capable, as my ex-bosses would hurry to add.
at the end of 2012, I happen to to read a FB post about " happiness is not derived from living a past dream"(or similar)... I now know why I was miserable when i felt i could do nothing right. Just miserable. Not depressed, not clinically any way.
Life is ever-changing and simply amazing. So is that voice and courage to tell me to give up my past dream when I didnt have enough to give, to make the dream work. It is fundamentally scary and just plain unpleasant to know that I couldnt be what I want to be, without sacrificing 8h of sleep, weekends and me-time. At the same time, it is finally illuminating and motivational to know what you want more in life.
... and suddenly, i found myself wanting to shop for a wedding ring, gather some ideas for my dream wedding (for which I supposed I will only have 1 in my lifetime, as there is no other brave soul wanting to marry me and live in torment for the rest of his life...).This feeling of "wanting to get married" is new to me. TOTALLY NEW. I have no idea why I (finally??) have this desire in this time of the month although i do have a theory.
My theory is... I am finally ready to be on this path as I am closer to realizing the my singleton's dreams of seeing the world. Most of the countries which I wanna visit are on my check list. The last ultimatum... I am praying/working hard to see NY at the end of 2013.
and then i freaked out myself, as i was reading " I DONT KNOW HOW SHE DOES IT" and I actually imagine myself to relate to the leading character who is juggling motherhood and career. OMG; am I that past the young adult phrase already???( oh btw, i prob wont have career but just a enough & it will be enough for me.) SINCE WHEN DO I EVEN THINK ABOUT BEING A MOM WITH TWO KIDS???
since now i guess. after... I had my moments of madness,,, and with madness comes, clarity (with high price tag).
this moment of madness costs me $3800 SGD. there is about 12 tiny speaks of clarity (aka diamonds) inside. I always thought I would spend about about a few K on a bag FIRST but end up my first regretful splurge is a TH watch.
CHANT TO SELF: Money doesnt matter as long as I can earn it back. Although my heart pains still. (SMILE)
Life... is on a track. Have to work hard to stay this way. Have to trust that things will work itself out at the same time.
I'm just glad to be living in this moment.
