where is my ZZZ

eh, i am up at 5 Am, doing work meant to be done in office. i wonder why i couldnt and didnt do them in office the way its meant to be.

actually, i wonder why i do things the way i do. >,<

a lot of things to be done! the projects are starting to roll in and those reference books are so super heavy. no time to sleep. n for some reason, i dun feel like sleeping anyway.think finally found a can of cold caffeine that seem to work! lol.

accidental murderer

i actually caused a PEN to be stabbed into his palm.

such supreme pain, his sleepy mood immediately disappeared. n i felt guilty supremely. but luckily he never cry la. haha/ as if he will.

there is lotsa work to do... i am just afraid i let slip something.

=S

bad:
yet another embarrassing elementary mistake, i made. majorly embarrassing. majorly dumb dumb. so stupid that it is silly to talk abt it. so we didnt. n i am so embarrassed of myself that i just want to vanish into thin air and let every1 forget i exisit.

i think by now, they r on their guard, high alert, with they work with me... if they dun1 to get into soup. whahahahahahaha. very sad leh. but i cant help it. i duno why am i so dumbdumb and clueless.

i am just super glad, they dun make mi feel worse over it.

GOOD:
I FINALLY MANAGED TO INSTALL WINDOWS 2007 INTO MY VISTA OS AFTER 1 STUPID MISERABLE WEEK OF TRYING.

gawd.

now, finally this episode is over and i have to thank alvin and alex for it. nope, they dunno each other but the common thing is they lemme their version of office and together, their discs allowed me to win the war against the stupid dumbdumb OS bug. i assume its a bug.

thanks to gary who pointed me to alvin for help. heeheee.

its all fated, isnt it. esp when i dun even know alvin is into computers! at all! previously. lucky fate has it this way, if not i will be on my way to sim lim to buy a 200 plus dollar software FOR NOTHING. goddd. monee is not meant to spend like this!!!

congrats to ZH for passing his class three license!! hohohoho. i bet you know what is the next step and pls dun pretend or act dumbdumb. oh, of course i dun mean to pressue u but if u can, the sooner, the better. whahahahahahahahahaha.

went to my first meet-the-friends session n it was OK. i dun mind his friends at all. cause they are not that difficult to be with. ;) but they dun look like the same type at all lor.

their hobbies ranged from hitting the books to hitting the clubs to hitting the backside of the baby girl.

hahahah. kiddding abt the last one. coz the parents like all other parents, obviously dote on their daughter A LOT.

nightmare?

i hardly remember if i dream, i often think i dont dream. anyway, i remember a dream from last night.

i was asked to go out and buy something by my boss, but i didnt buy anything after i reach the shop for whatever reason. n then, my boss could buy the same things by sending an email to the seller or something while i couldnt despite a trip to the shop!

ahhhhhhhhhhh.

okay, calm down. LOL.

i wonder can i really handle sch and work. i dont think i can afford to find out coz what if i screw up at work (again)coz i am too burnt out? its better to just leave without further damage to my rep. but the thing is, the timing is so akward. coz HR already included me in the Taipei trip. if i leave... it's SUCH A WASTE.

so stressed. haha.


yesterday ate too much. bloated. yest, the bloody traffice was so bad. yest, i yelled at the innocent older guy coz i was just so bloody fustrated.

restaurants accidents

yesterday went swenson, some waitress crashed a plate of main course onto the floor. she turned too fast and the tray went off-balance. a loud crash of the glass, lucky nothing hit the diners. reminded me of my baked rice incident.;S

today went LJS, n beneath the fish-skin, there was a slime/worm-like brown piece of... WHATEVER that just look like a slimy worm. i called the mgr to come see and he didnt know what it was either... i was compensated with a chocolate pie. hohohohoho.

there is a lot of gd things happenin to people ard me...

congrats to evon who is confirmed. congrats to my assist mgr who just finished throwing the chinese wedding dinner. congrats to HCY who is so happy with her decision after all the internal struggle. congrats to my dear friend who had a baby shower recently. the baby was so so so cute. hahahaha. congrats to kelly for ending her nightmarish-job. congrats to me for finding some one who is counting down the days n years before he can marry me. WHAHHAHA.



actually there is so many things to be happpy about.

a stone in my heart

i had a good start, only to deteoriate rapidly during the last lap. i cant find any reason which are valid, i think i dun need reason to justify. the reason is... me. i feel like a mess. thats why i am one. thats what KK would love to say. u r what u feel. things can come true due to willpower. yada yada yada... even tho he didnt manage to find any girls wearing short skirt when he said he wanted but thats beside the point. *rolls eyes.


didnt i used to say this were like an internship? guess i am having a F-grade now... but still got a few weeks to pull it to a D or a C-grade. in the meantime, i am still whining n feeling dumbdumb but just be prepared for... everything!!!


ahmed enlisting today!

unavoidable. NS

we met over high tea today at that super nice soba japanese restautant. this time i had green tea tofu with vanilla ice cream and some slices of fruits on the top with red bean paste to go along. su-go-ii desu! the rest had cream amitsu except ahmed who ordered red bean paste.

Below, mr alex shieh, who injured his hand accidentally and lucked out on confinement due to his audition ( good luck:)).therefore, he could be there with us. heehee.

and ms birdie n me acting cute. ( i know i am not suited for this. hahahah.)
and... ahmed on the right, is the reason of our small outing. hahah. he is going IN NEXT SATURDAY!! time flies. i feel so sad too!! but... soon, 2 weeks will be over and we can get together as firewire soon enough!

kk will be going IN one month later... its time to count down too.

today, we totally went japanese all the way and totally overate. at least for me. high tea, dinner with in the space of 3 hours. and then some potatoe chips that we had from ah ho's subway meal. hahahah.

and then, i met up with Mr Caveman ( coz he slouches as though he is one) over ice cream. guess we r still in the honeymoon period. i just like the way he think he is funny.... ( but actually he is not) hahah. :)

down n out

i am , like at the height of my PMS, when i feel damm down and out. Lousy with a L. everything that can go wrong, most likely will go wrong if I am involved. murhpy's law rule!!! >,< SOBXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX.

of all plaques to have a loose screw, the ONLY one that the MD present is the one with the loose screw.

but in situations like this, the MD and guest shown that they are REALLY gracious people who aint that high-maintainence about non -threatening issues. ( PHEW)

i cant figure out how did i messed up simple things!

just lucked out that i got really nice n understanding colleagues but i cant help feeling damm guilty at my... lousiness that made life difficult for them.

can i have a company retreat

it doesnt feel good to know that there are people who are not interested in talking to u and helping u understand. they rather talk to someone else who already knows. then they dun need to explain to a ignorant person.

my company is going to Taipei, Taiwan for a 3 day company retreat!!!!!!!!!!!! that is fantastic news. there was a buzz once people recieved this mail... and to my horror, when people r already talkin abt it, i STILL NEVER received this mail. i was so scared that it is a deliberate action, that i was deliberately left out cause i wont be there for company retreat.but... i got received lah. hahah.

i duno why, but i just got this irrational fear that keeps making me so confident-less about gaining permanency in this company. and the thing is, i think i underperformed. >,< there is numerous times where i couldnt ans qtns posted to me by my superiors. haix. maybe my irrational fear is simply i am too embarrassed to stay if i am not up to standards. okay. there u go, the root of my fear.

this is yet another mgr-less week and next week will be another one time. i look forward to my Uni class. there is always a mixture of fear and excitement whenever its time to meet new people again. it will be hard to bump into firewire-like people but i will be hopinhg anyway. i see my ex supervisor, so happy so buddy with her uni mates, i really wish that i will be lucky enough to be like her.

i finally got the p-size white Fox jacket which i liked so much the moment i laid eyes on them. last piece,too! shopping , sometimes, is also about fate !!!!!!!!

so tired. always sleepyy. no matter where i am. =C