the L day

on this final day, the feelings to work was different. walked with MO to office, hopin she dun mention its my last day if not i surely cry. did she sense my thoughts, she didnt mention its my last day anyway.

i was such a water tap today!! any little thing can trigger my tear duct to over produce.

the first person to trigger my tears, was Mr Kang. the MM. it was over lunch, we all went out for my farewell lunch, just simple fare (unfortunately=P). then, he asked will i miss certain colleagues. of coz i WILL!! then the tears start dripping to my horror. i just couldnt keep them in and i am too sad to care.

so... if they say anything remotely related to missing mi/missing them/last day at MCIS/wish mi all the best, i will be so touched/sad, i will just start to tear again. so they were forced only to talk abt funny/work things to keep mi from crying.

i still teared. i admit its really embarrassing. bery malu!!!

all the way from lunch to five pm, people's sweet gestures triggered spouts of tears.

most unexpected, were the 2 girls from editorial dpt who gave mi chocolates, hugs, hand shakes and gd wishes.

alas, my valiant effort screeched to a pathetic stop when AM asked mi in to the showroom, draggin mi away from M.K who was explainin to me how to fill in my eh, last timesheet... only to find my colleagues with a piece of cheesecake for me, all seated expectdly in front of me. haiz.

was touched to tears again, then tears start to flow. by now, they already expected already lahz. hahaha.

m.k came into the showroom shortly after, and then, he let out a groan when he saw mi crying again. sorry lahhhh, i really can't help it!!!!!!!!!!!

the reason i feel so sad, is coz they r such nice ppl n i think i see them more than my own parents for the past 5 months!!!!!! after the lesson with PB, nice ppl cant be taken for granted. this makes mi feel even sadder yet i cant tell abt PB. anyway PB is in the past, and she can eat my dust. hahaahah.

they ask me make a speech, n i was so overwhelmed by their kindness, words kinda stucked in my throat... too much tears, not enuf air. vision blurred, voice shook. i was a waste basket of emotions. total EMO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! happy n sad at the same time. or is it more sad than happy?

wishes from them to me

thomas, the man with the fatherly aura, takes mi to breakfast and buy me McDonalds!!=)

AH POEI-C.J, n i will remembered his highly modified car too.=P

frelyn, new sales colleague... who really tries her best!

MO wrote letter on tissue....pengzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

my AM lorzzzzzzzzzzz. -.-

andrew- AH MAOO. let u noe if i have any pretty colleagues>,<

turns out Mr K has such boyish handwriting!!!!!!! kekekekekke.

Kwong hui the new marketing exec from ntu...

gek eng. mary's best bud in office! haha. she is the new self appointes snack-provider. haha.

this is from mary. general toh. lol. kind heart beneath sharp words.

good ppl

i think agnes for her concern and guidance

thank michle for lettin me noe the truth.

thank thomas for lookin out for mi.

thank ttyy for being so gd natured, always lettin every1 else have their way.

thank joseph for the lifts.

thank weien for coverin for me.

thank dila for accomodating me into the schedule...

thank yufen for being a solid friend.

thank firewire for being there.

thank god for my family.


yup. i am counting my blessings. if u r not listed, dun angry ... pls wait for rd 2!hahaha.



eh... yours truly will be starting a new chapter in life soon. lookin forward to all the challenges. i envision success. nothing but success!!!

today i received the gd news that the mnc has decided to hire me and even gave mi a salary higher than expectations. =).

so, i believed in gd karma, bad karma. life is a game of choices. i choose to make decisions out of my beliefs, intergrity and newly acquired professionalism. not out of selfish gains or revenge or just plain no-reason.

i never changed my values, i lost some faith in human beings, but overall, i am still good. i am happy. i don't hate. i learnt.

i believe in myself

for everything in life, except maybe academics, there is no right or wrong. no black or white. but a huge entity of grey area.

should we really question what's right and what's wrong when it was all grey to start with? who dictates what's right and wrong anyway? can't we follow our instinct and do what you feel is right and not be turned off by the consequences? it is about honour and your moral values, if you have any.

who knows what will be the consequences anyway? will it really be as bad as you think? maybe whatever u fear ... will not even remotely happen in real life at all. y cant we analyse the pros and cons first before we jump into the worst consequences ever? then again, thats the human nature, to see the bad points first.

marriage isnt the solution. but it is an acceptable answer. office politics is hurtful but it is accepted. the couple is together only becoz one of them is scared of being single and the feeling of loneliness, not together becoz of love.

we dont need to do right things. we need to do what we FEEL is right.

feelings dont cheat if you listen to them close enough with no ill intentions in ur mind.

i need affirmation that my choices are 'right' but even if every1 is against them, i will not lose faith in my decision because i believe in myself and everything that comes with it.

happy pictures

one of the helpful girls at unity p sch. mentioned in previous post, subsequently i dun have time to take pic ah. so young already know, how to make her face look smaller. haix.kkekeke.

obviously, my colleague, mary, was ignorant of something called headroom. not to mention about being centralised.wHAHAHAHA.

why are we both NOT showing any teeth? ha, we somemore never baka-ed abt this...
the face above is my supervisor's. or rather ex-supervisor. poisonous bitch dropped her bonding act after they become under different department. -.-,

*cheers to bo-liao us!*

fâché

beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

i went to unity primary for the sales drive and the kids there r amazing. when i just reached there, i saw them dancing to the beyonce song. dancing to DEJA VU. almost faintz with my amusement.

the kids there loved me a lot. WHAHHAAHA. i was alone... not!=) there were 5 of them , rushing to help me in every where, even thought of division of labour. They were store assistants, temp promoters ,advertisers and PR personnel. ALL rolled into one. hahah.

well, u guys are sincerely appreciated. so capable, not missing a single form or receipt even though u guys were only 9/10 years old. thanks for entertaining me. thanks for askin me to go there again next year. though u probably would have forgotten about me by 6pm, but i will always remenber u guys are so helpful and cute and funny.

this sch happens to be my last science spy school too. well, it ended with a fantastic full stop!=) loads of great memories. the malay niang, the boy with the ah-pek accent, the boy who suffers from a skin disease which made his skin peel and scaly, the girls who were helpful, so sweet to make sure my hp is inside my bag. n nothing is amiss.

i miss u all already. *sobz.


but...i was most (pleasantly) shocked when a little girl came in front of me and told me i am pretty.

she said she thought my eyes are pretty coz "they dont have a line..." yes girl, i know what you mean. apparently her mom told her that her eyes are not pretty coz they are double eyelids.

omg, the mother likes single eyelids i guess. but how could she say that cause BUT THAT IS NOT THE TRUTH. the girl's eyes are big , bright and beautiful, everything i want but i dont have, i resort to cosmetic tricks to make appear about 0.0005mm larger. thats my sad little life.

of coz i told her, thats rubbish, her mom is crazy and she ,indeed, has a pair of very pretty eyes. her mom should send her brain for some check up. doesnt she know a child's desire for parents' approval and praise?! omg. she might have accidentally rocked the girl's self esteem over such trivial opinions.

but thanks for being so honest to tell me i am pretty ah.


coz apparently, i am so ugly that i am being hated and backstabbed for it.


i am glad i know the truth. its never too late. even though it makes my blood boil.


for some reason, she manipulated a picture of me being a loser and a loner with no friends. AM I REALLY SOME1 WITH NO FRIENDS AT ALL??? that lying bitch!! i am so angry!!


for this, i am very glad that i have friends who felt for me. and ascertained what she painted was wrong. thanks for firewire, if not... lets not think abt ifs-nots.


so i had been clueless. knowing abt this only after 23 weeks and 6 days left.

i am dumb to want to believe in the best of people.

i had been stabbed again and again. coz i was trusting n never fought back.

the ones who pretends always win.

at first.

sometimes those snowwhite- wannabes are more scary, scheming and poisonous than the queen herself.

an unofficial dip grad

starting tomorrow, there is really only 10 working days left. what can happen in these 10 working days? really duno, but must be on best best possible behavoir!!!

one thing for sure, after the 2 weeks , i will have to join the workforce whether i am ready or not. i am a unofficial grad... i guess i will be joining the workforce as an umemployed.

huh-huh. unemployed leh. sadly, i just registered for my part time degree course. cant afford to be jobless for 2 long even tho i have severe nuah-ness inside me.

okay, before i forget , i dedicate the following space to my very nice managers i encountered. they looked out for me, believe in me , nurture me and forgive me for the undeliberate mistakes i had committed. i really can thank them no enough leh. hahaha.

and i believe they had shaped my character with their words, attitude and actions. so i thank them for being a positive role models whom i can learn from.

i am reallly glad that i had never had horrid managers in my life, as heard from horror stories from other colleagues.

the most classic one is the M-O horror stories. hahaha... hearing these true accounts made me thank my lucky stars above. today i short monee when i cashiering. perhaps my tiredness showed. manager allowed me to go home since i only left 1 h, n there is more than enuf crew to go ard. i got this one extra hour to blog and then work on the stupid work i brought home from work to work on.

lol. haix. back to zhong-dian of this post. i will be an unemployed after 2 weeks.

oh there is a really nice lady from one of the many sister-companies. her name is Mag Yip and i want to thank her for her nice word, encouragement and offer of help. hhahaha. she said i can look for her if i need help finding a job. but knowing my character, that is not gonna happen lah.

kekkekekekkeke.

nuah a bit and see how.

piece of crap

i believe in leading by setting example. i have more respect for AM than MM by virture she comes in earlier than him to the office every single day. actually her reason for coming like 1/2 h earlier is not becoz she loves her work so much but she wants to avoid the traffic jam, that would make her late for sure. that's an admirable quality.

i am not sure for big boss.

whateever.

leadership qualities need not be present in someone when the circumstances is favourable ???

i feel anti social again. i feel snappish. the questions ppl sometimes ask me r so super useless that i give a reply out of politeness. i put my msn in friendster, hoping to make some net friends, but usually clueless ppl add me.

the latest one win already lorzzzz. a really piece of crap if u ask me. he would the one to msn mi first. i dun even bother. and for everytime he talks to me, he will ask mi what i do. and then, i would ans. INTERN.

he would say. "WHAT'S THAT?" wah, a really big piece of crap of lor. so old already duno what is the meaning of intern, and i even gave him dictionary.com. obviously never go and find out. after like 3 times, i could simply anticipated his response when he STILL asked the same old dumb qtn. i laughed to my self when he still asked what is a intern when i said i already know u dunno.


disgusting piece of shit. lol. suddenly i remember that's what loo lin likes to scold ppl.

well, i can't think of better terms to describe this guy of 29 years old who claimed he is working as a marketing exec. a piece of shit working at that company. i pity that company. but i am nt blocking him la.

i like to see how low human intelligence can be. then sometimes, laugh at their cluelessness and feel a fake sense of superiority. yah, i indulge in myself too much.

i feel anti social. i need to make more friends on the same wavelength. but the difficult thing is, it might be a fact that i am the only on my level of frequency. i am too unique for my own gd. i am too individualistic for own gd. k.zzzzzzzzzz.

i wont be hired at my company. i feel sad coz i really like workin with my AM as u obviously can tell. she want to hire me as a term. but i wanna be hired as a perm. our frequencies quite match lleh. thats why its fun workin with her. can even ask her abt Jap since she took it til intermediate level. she said she even has a japanese language keyboard bought in japan. lol. yayaayay. bring to office and lemme use lar. then u can read a japanese email. think abt it. like , should be quite cool right? hahahaha.

and finally......ZZZZ

lucky

this is one of the very very few times, heck actually this is the first time i feel lucky to be who i am and where i was. i refused to publicize my internship - company. hahah.

lol, coz i managed to sit in Mr Peter Ng's workshop. nvm, who he is... he is a very charismatic, humourous speaker who conducted a leadership workshop for teachers. the workshop was full of his fuunnny, interesting stories while he spend THREE YEARS ON INTERNSHIP with Walt Disney Theme Park in Florida. it was full of LOL moments.

i felt alive in his workshop instead of just bored and sleepy and it was so evident that other colleagues could comment on me lookin different.

i seriously wouldnt mind interning for him. lol. AND he said HE WOULDNT MIND too!! joking or not, but i choose to take this as a confidence jab. a small fry like me really dun mind doing shit work in an environment like his... hahaha.

imagine he just flew in from beijing after a 4 day conference and he comes back to face 10 teachers who didnt know this and just gave him the typical silence response. i salute him for maintaining his enthusiasm and energy level so high up that at last... the teachers responded more energetically too.

just by listening, just by using my ears, i felt i had learnt a lot.

i kept askin if he eats batteries for meals.

and i high-fived this great man's hand. lol.

change in topic: internship ending in 2 weeks.

i need to find a job!

you know, work is a reallly important aspect of live. i really dont want to waste time on a job that is unfulfilling and mechanical. i think i can live with lower pay if i feel happy with what i am doing.

sigh. i think i really envy ppl who r making passion their job, carreer and life. life should be lived that way in order for you to enjoy every minute of the years ahead of you.

the speaker had asked us what's passion.

passion is intense enthusiasm.

what's enthusiasm?

enthusiasm is intense joy.

so what gives mi intense joy when i am doing it?



really duno. but i know what i dont like! hahahaha.

still smiling

nihon-go class's senseii is very kawaii-funny!!!!

after the class, which i yawned through out , desspite the relatively engaging teacher, i was off to meet ah-ho at bugis! when she finally arrived, we were off to eat some hongkie dishes which taste quite good!=). then ah-ho still wan desert.

went to another hongkie place to have those china deserts. and i didnt like mine!!!! but nvm lor, since the xue-er is gd for skin, just force it down and ah-ho helped mi finish most of it anyway. we laughed a lot at this small eatery. coz of us, of people before us and people ard us. they were all hilarious! it was a effort that i didnt spill the white stuff i was eating.

then its shoppping time!! i duno why, but somehow we can just laugh so much until my stomache feel pain!!!! what did we laugh at?

i finally bought my first dress at a steal. no1 ever seen mi wear dress b4. even wheni tried, my jeans were still on. lol. hahhaa. the ppl at the wedding will have such a priviledge. kekekekkeke.

another wonderful day ended.

and we still got many things never do before!!!

OMG

i always thought my brother dont remenber my existence , cause of the time, he ignores me and everything abt me?

then on thurday, he suddenly brought me a lap top (which i am typing on now) and say it's for me! *faintzzzzzzzzz. very VERY surprised,can? and the only thing i brought for him was a twenty dollar birthday cake. HAHAHHAHA. okay, wait for me earn big money from my perm job then i can also spend lavishly on my family too.

i think all of us are happy cause he can finally not share his computer and have my nonsense stuff saved in his desktop AND i never need to interrupt his gaming ever again!!!

whhahahaahhaahha.

AND i went to the IT fair with my supervisor on friday night and it was most crowded ever. will the weekend be worst? i went to buy a MP3, had in mind a REALLLY cool lookin Samsung touch-screen player but end up with a iriver. and in the end, i felt like i was buying speakers home coz i was havin such a hard time carrying the heavy speakers which came for free obviously, instead of the tiny, light weight white iriver!!

hohohohohohoho, later i am going to my first Japanese class and squeuezing with the crowd at bugis. if anything,i think IT fair at Suntec should be more crowded.

heeheee, i got mood swings now. and it's swinging up!=)

pms

it's the time of the month.

eh... the older i get, the more pms bugs me. i reallly feel so so pissed off at my internship now!!! and i credit it to pms symptoms. yes. this is a valid reason.

the words that a fresh -grad working adult strung together, just TOTALLLLY displayed her LACK of professionalism. full stop. a lousy excuse of a professional. obviously not into her job, but that's beside the point. the fact that she is so inconsiderate/clueless abt other ppl beside her irks me to hell.

and HOW AM I TO DO OFFICE WORK UNDER A TIGHT DEADLINE WHEN I AM NOT EVEN STATIONED IN THE OFFICE?? \

get ur new exec to do lor. just ask mi phtocopy and make kopi lor.

which reminds me. i want to end internship asap and yet i dun mind being a perm there... coz i work real work now and i dont get real returns. it is twisting my insides and makin mi sad when the truth is i am really really cheap labour worth nothing more than $2 per hour.

and well, dun take ur jokes too far. queen of comeback lines dont take words lyings down. even if u r boss. a good boss wont piss me off enough to warrant any comeback lines from me!!

pms-ing now. shut up. ignore me.