new year resolutions!!!

2012 is 99.9% gone! So who cares about 2012 already? Now that I am with Yoga, I found out that reflection need not be done on annual basis. I had been reflecting as & when, when there is something worth to reflect and ruminate upon. So nothing particular to reflect upon now.

I am genuinely excited by 2013.

cause I never been on business trips so I look forward to know what they are like. Since its all SEA locations, i don't suppose it will be THAT tough. 3 trips coming up and I cant wait to see and smell the region for myself.   

I am excited by the prospect for searching for the ring that will make me fall in love at first sight. I thought I will find it at Tiffany coz I am really smitten by their advertising and eh, brand color. So, went to tiffany but ... it is so meh. So, the search continues. In the meantime, continue to brainwash self that the brand of ring doesnt matter. STOP BEING A BRAND WHORE.   

I am hopeful that in 2013 I can catch up with a long lost friend just to see how time has changed my friend. banking on the fact that my biz trip can happen. Time didnt change me. Did it change him? I missed our conversations, jokes and plain friendship. Does he?  

I am extra determined to go USA in 2013 cause i been smirked at for not being there before. Still have to keep fingers crossed that things can happen smoothly. 

Whatever will happen, will happen. Maybe Murphy's law will rule in the end. But in the meantime, I cant lose hope in 2013 and myself. 

petty colleague

Well well, the petty colleague IS ME.

Cause I will not forget the snide remarks which i am taking it as a personal attack on me... simply cause I am the only one who has not been to USA while ''everyone has''.

being the travel-freak that i am, i took this especially personally.cause my travels are funded by myself. y should i be looked down upon by someone who probably funds her expenditure by her parents. who went to USA on student exchange program? BLEAH..

and omg, it is so funny to laugh AT me simply cause I am one month older than you?!!!

so insensitive. so funny-haha-my-toenail-have-trouble-snickering.

and I noticed that you are always so quick to defend yourself even something is wrong. Jesus!! no-one is pointing fingers at anyone, why are you so fast to make sure people know you were ...right? it is so prissy and a sign of poor team spirit. I cant  help thinking should there be a slightest sign of trouble, you will forsake your team members just so you can save your skin.

I wish I can lecture this semi-fresh grad that it is utterly unprofessional to verbalise that you do not wish to work with certain colleague coz this certain colleague will push you to deliver things and in that sense, isnt that easy to work with.

I wish I can lecture that it is unprofessional to ASSUME that my day is as unproductive as yours simply cause you think yours was unproductive.

I wish you can contain your disdain for the PRCs to yourself and stop sharing with me.


HMMMMMM,


I now understand why the previous colleague didnt want to speak to you much for leisure.


Everything has a reason.  

>>>>>.it is just so good to get this snide remarks out of my system. 

maybe we are all mad. .

I really like the below except from the anointed notes which I read in Alice In Wonderland...

THEAETETUS: I certainly cannot undertake to argue that madmen or dreamers think truly, when they imagine, some of them that they are gods, and others that they can fly, and are flying in their sleep. SOCRATES: Do you see another question which can be raised about these phenomena, notably about dreaming and waking? THEAETETUS: What question? SOCRATES: A question which I think that you must often have heard persons ask:--How can you determine whether at this moment we are sleeping, and all our thoughts are a dream; or whether we are awake, and talking to one another in the waking state? THEAETETUS: Indeed, Socrates, I do not know how to prove the one any more than the other, for in both cases the facts precisely correspond;--and there is no difficulty in supposing that during all this discussion we have been talking to one another in a dream; and when in a dream we seem to be narrating dreams, the resemblance of the two states is quite astonishing. SOCRATES: You see, then, that a doubt about the reality of sense is easily raised, since there may even be a doubt whether we are awake or in a dream. And as our time is equally divided between sleeping and waking, in either sphere of existence the soul contends that the thoughts which are present to our minds at the time are true; and during one half of our lives we affirm the truth of the one, and, during the other half, of the other; and are equally confident of both. THEAETETUS: Most true. SOCRATES: And may not the same be said of madness and other disorders? the difference is only that the times are not equal.

Merry xmas n a happy new year.

Dear Life,
I AM VERY HAPPY & SATISFIED with my life NOW. WHO KNEW?? THANK YOU.

At the start of 2012, I though I can work out  my dream branding job.But after I gave all that I am willing to give,,, things still arent going my way. I suppose after knowing what the "dream job"entails, my priority and my dream has CHANGED. Living my EX-Dream isnt motivating me to work harder and be happier. I realized I wasnt suitable for the ex-dream. Not that I am not capable, as my ex-bosses would hurry to add.  

at the end of 2012, I happen to to read a FB post about " happiness is not derived from living a past dream"(or similar)... I now know why I was miserable when i felt i could do nothing right. Just miserable. Not depressed, not clinically any way.

Life is ever-changing and simply amazing. So is that voice and courage to tell me to give up my past dream when I didnt have enough to give, to make the dream work. It is fundamentally scary and just plain unpleasant to know that I couldnt be what I want to be, without sacrificing 8h of sleep, weekends and me-time. At the same time, it is finally illuminating and motivational to know what you want more in life.

... and suddenly, i found myself wanting to shop for a wedding ring, gather some ideas for my dream wedding (for which I supposed I will only have 1 in my lifetime, as there is no other brave soul wanting to marry me and live in torment for the rest of his life...).This feeling of  "wanting to get married" is new to me. TOTALLY NEW. I have no idea why  I (finally??) have this desire in this time of the month although i do have a theory.

My theory is... I am finally ready to be on this path as I am closer to realizing the my singleton's dreams of seeing the world. Most of the countries which I wanna visit are on my check list. The last ultimatum... I am praying/working hard to see NY at the end of 2013.

and  then i freaked out myself, as i was reading  " I DONT KNOW HOW SHE DOES IT" and I actually imagine myself to relate to the leading character who is juggling motherhood and career. OMG; am I that past the young adult phrase already???( oh btw, i prob wont have career but just a enough & it will be enough for me.) SINCE WHEN DO I EVEN THINK ABOUT BEING A MOM WITH TWO KIDS???

since now i guess. after... I had my moments of madness,,, and with madness comes, clarity (with high price tag).

this moment of madness costs me $3800 SGD. there is about 12 tiny speaks of clarity (aka diamonds) inside. I always thought I would spend about about a few K on a bag FIRST but end up my first regretful splurge is a TH watch.

CHANT TO SELF: Money doesnt matter as long as I can earn it back. Although my heart pains still. (SMILE)


Life... is on a track. Have to work hard to stay this way. Have to trust that things will work itself out at the same time.

I'm just glad to be living in this moment.

FIRST time to Europe

Hi Eve,

Cant believe you finally made it to Europe after all these years, like 5 years, despite being just a worker ant. Cant believe you went to EASTERN Europe instead of the Paris/London, the way you always thought it will be. 

Life is strange but as long as you can go to Europe, it is just as good. We gotta be flexible, HUH? But despite you didnt go to those outlet shopping cities,  you gotta be super mindful of your expenditure, coz for some bewitched reason, you overspend on a bloody depreciating diamond watch. But since you always think money can be earned back... I suppose there is no use regretting  LIVE IN THE MOMENT!! ESPECIALLY SINCE IT WAS ON HOLIDAY, huh. 

I also think this attitude will kill you if it continues when you have to start feeding a family. Dont always rationalize your expenditure by saying "this is the last year i can spend recklessly on myself .... from 2014 onwards times changed, and spending on yourself is the ABSOLUTE last priority", with your 1/2 a million dollar HDB flat and expensive children (hopefully) to feed... I think you need to learn from your parents the way they treasure every last dollar. But still that's something happening in 2014. HAHA. 

OK, whatever. I think you cannot change your spots untill you realize you got last than $2k in your bank. And that all those material simply doesnt matter as long as you have a roof on your head & food in the refrigerator. 

Hmm. Would you have chosen not to go Europe despite being 10K poorer? Guess not, since $$ in the bank means nothing you as you dont even bother you shd ALREADY start saving for the bloody house. Guess you would still exchange it for the old world experience of Europe , to see the history in front of your eyes and to simply appreciate what you have in Spore more. (except for the hot sweaty weather). & worry about those worrisome housing/wedding matters later on. 

Anyway, will you be on track on your next big travel destination (that is like, so, the wrong priority, but still) ?? I know you so wanna go USA , another farwaway continent to be on the ultimate shopping spree. To see the land of the pop culture that you are living with since you know what is pop music. 

Well nobody knows. Nobody knows you would really splurge on that bloody depreciating watch. Nobody including yourself, huh. So seriously,  did that watch make you happy? Most likely yes, since in your heart, you really like it & like all the memories that it represents. 

& on a different note, it was quite a surprise for you to receive FB request from RT. But glad you didnt lose sleep after realizing all the lies he told you (once you finish scanning his fb page)

I mean, what is the reason for him toning down his family wealth?? Like, saying his family company is just small local firm compared to the one of the largest shipping company in the SEA worth quite a few million USD? Is it becoz 80 USD MIL, is just small change in his eyes? Maybe it is, coz you nvr know whats the psyche of rich ppl. 

& what is with saying he was a kid with no siblings, when he had 2 sibling?? Is he like, delusional? Maybe then, you had befriended a weirdo but you didnt know it.... how psycho & slightly creepy to know someone who couldnt tell the truth about the himself. 

Ok, I know, that is just you dramatizing your boring life. Thats what you always feel the need to explore the world so that you can add some awesome chapters in your life. & I know, you cant be bothered to stay perplexed with those weird stuff in life... once you have some awesome food to focus on!

And, that is it from me, 
love,
your voice in your head.